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Nnovember 2, 2002
The Iranian
Send us your questions
and comments
* Who are we kidding here?
I have been going thru a rough time lately. I only date Iranian men and I prefer
to be in a relationship with them. But I live in a part of the country where there
aren't many Iranian men. I have been depressed a lot about not meeting someone and
being alone scares me.
I have a lot going for me. I have a good job that I love and I am making good
money and I am well educated but not having a guy that I can connect with is the
only part of my life that sucks.
I know that you might think that finding a guy isn't everything in life but who
are we kidding here? Everyone wants to have someone and I want that person to be
Iranian but I don't want to meet them off the net or dating service or like that!
What am I to do?
One Gal,
 Reply
Abjee Fotti and Abjee Pari write:
Don't feel bad at all about coming to us with any problems. That's what we are
here for.
It may help to know there are lots of young women out there in the same situation.
As our level of education and career improve, we become more independent financially,
emotionally, etc. But it is true that in our all hearts, what we want is to connect
with someone, to share all of life's ups and downs with someone who can be your partner
in life, your lover, your best friend, your confident etc. There is nothing to be
ashamed of in that. It is actually a sign of maturity to acknowledge that priority
in life should be love, happiness, and spiritual connection, not just money in the
bank, and an alphabet soup after your name.
The downside to living in a big city is that even though you are among thousands
of people, it can feel very lonely. But you should definitely NOT stick around with
a jerk for the sake of not being alone!
On the other hand, you should not restrict yourself to just dating iranians when
you live in a part of the world when there is little chance of meeting eligible iranian
single men. We understand that you may feel more of a connection right off the bat
with someone who shared your culture, language, a common background. But closing
yourself off to other people simply based on race or nationality is narrow minded.
Don't choose who you will or will not date based upon a label such as "iranian"
or "non iranian". This is as shallow as only dating "tall men",
or "rich men." Get to know someone for who they are. It is true we are
colored in some way by our background, how we were raised, what language we spoke
at home, and what food our mom made for us. But that is not the entire picture. Give
people a chance and maybe you will stop feeling so isolated.
If you stick to the idea that you only want to date Iranian, what other venue is
there possibly than long distance penpal or chatbuddy relationships since there are
no Iranians in your area? Not that we want to knock such relationships. In fact,
the abjeez have made a lot of friendships with a lot of interesting people through
the internet. We have even heard of people falling in love and getting married this
way.
Our last word of advice: about that guy you previously wrote to us about, do NOT
call him even if he is the one who has called you in the first place. If your instinct
is telling you he is playing games with you, why do you reciprocate. Remember, it
takes two!
Best wishes,
Abjee Pari and Abjee Fotti
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