Advice October 29, 2002 The Iranian Send us your questions and comments * Can't find a job. Should I move? Let me first thank you for what you do cause it is very valuable for most people who are in need of someone to share ideas and get help. My problem is not about family or a social problem; it is about my career. Although I have completed 3 years of university here, I can't get a job. I live in Vancouver, Canada, and I have been unemployed for about 6 months and I am falling into credit card debt. Sometimes I think maybe I should move to a bigger city or another country, then I think of the complications, lonliness and the rest. I have become restless and frustrated. Your input is appreciated. With my best regards, A man who once was an example of success Reply Abjee Fotti and Abjee Pari write: Thank you for your kind words and for your faith in us. We are here precisely because sometimes it is easier to communicate with an objective anonymous third party who will (try) not (to) judge but rather listen sympathetically and highlight options. It is not always easy to confide in your closest family and friends because after all, we human beings are generally proud creatures who find it difficult to expose our weaknesses to our loved ones. First of all, let us share with you one of our firmest beliefs which is that positive affirmation goes a long way. We do not like for you to call yourself a man who was "once" an example of success. To think of yourself in the past tense just worsens your mood and dampens your enthusiasm. The way you perceive yourself greatly affects the way others perceive you. The abjeez themselves always try to keep a positive outlook and cheery demeanor no matter what comes our way and our friends are greatly surprised to find out that we have problems too. It is not the success in life that makes the worth of a person but rather how one deals with life's problems that show how truly valuable you are. Everybody deals greatly with success. In our opinion, someone who can handle life's ups and downs with equal tenacity is an example of success. The problem you describe has been faced by all young undergrads the abjeez included! There is a vicious chicken and egg problem that arises for grads, no matter how excellent their grades were in school. You can't get good jobs without experience. And you can't get good experience without being hired in the first place? What to do??? This problem is worsened in times of economic recession like we are facing right now both in canada and the states. Please don't let job rejections affect your perception of your true worth. To get a job rests on such arbitrary factors you wouldn't believe it!!! Abjee Pari 's ex roommate got her first job not because of good grades, good experience or even good looks: She got it by having a 30 minute discussion with the hiring partner of her law firm about German sausages (She was from germany and the guy had apparently gone to germany on many business trips and savored succulent german sausages!!!) Not to sound facetious, but sometimes people get nervous at job interviews and do not let their personality shine through. Seeing as the prospective employer imagines how it will be to spend 8 hours a day with this employee, they are likely to pick someone that has an easy going friendly personality, or tells a humorous anecdote over someone they consider a total bore. Our advice would be don't go in for the job interview with the feeling that if you don't get this, it is the end of the world. Relax! Repeat to yourself your qualities such as: You are a person with excellent skill who can adapt yourself to any situation and be a quick learner. You are a people's person who will function well in a team environment. Positive affirmation will do wonders for how you present yourself. Other factors are networking. Of course the company president's golf buddy's niece is going to be looked over more favorably than some complete stranger who has just sent an impersonal resume. The problem is how do you network when you do not have influential acquaintances, relatives and friends? You can't just call a stranger at an office and introduce yourself...or can you? A good friend of Abjee Fotti told her he used to call in advance every office he was considering applying to and chatted with the receptionist trying to get info on the company. Once he got the receptionist's good will, he asked to be transfered to the person in charge of hiring. Then he chatted with that person as well not only trying to get a feel of the environment but also to make a lasting impression so the person would remember him once the resume arrived. Also, before his interview, he would call and find out how many people and who was gonna interview him that date and again called them up to chat etc. It is always good to call up in advance so that you have already made a good impression (chances are since you are on the phone and in the comfort of your own home, you won't be as nervous as if you just show up that day without expecting what's coming). Finally, while you are looking for a job, why don't you volunteer in an organization without compensation. This is good for several reasons. One, you don't have a gap on your resume for a period of time where you have to put "unemployed". Two, it shows employers that you are a go getter and you are not afraid of paying your dues. Third, you may acquire valuable skills that can serve to put you in a better position for your next job interview. Fourth, you may meet and impress people in the organization you are volunteering at who can become your network contatcs, i.e. introducing you to the people who can get you a paying job, or letting you know about job opportunities that are not necessarily advertised publcily. You mention that you are considering moving to another city or country. Well there are good sides and bad sides to that. One bad side is that as you say it is a bit difficult at first to move somehwere where you don't know anyone. You may need the support of family and friends through this difficult time. On the other hand, maybe this is the best time to move out and strike out on your own. If you are unmarried, without kids, and a recent grad, what's stopping you from taking advantages of opportunities out there. Don't limit your job search to your area. There may be better things awaiting you in the States, or Europe, or wherever... Both the abjeez currently work and live in a city and country that is miles apart from where they used to live and study. And they are very happy with their new circle of friends, acquaintances etc. Your are understandably worried about your credit card debt. We don't know how many credit cards you have and what interest rates you are paying. Perhaps a good idea is to consolidate your debt with one company that way you make one payment at one rate instead of several at various rates. The key is to find a consolidation company that offers both low interest and low payments. We are sure a serach on the net can give you good options. We hope this has been helpful to you somewhat. Remember never think of yourself in the past tense: You have the world ahead of you. Some people say you are what you eat but we really think you are what you believe. Our best wishes for your future success, Abjee Pari and Abjee Fotti Comment for The Iranian letters section Comment for Abjeez Fotti and Pari ALSO Abjeez Previous replies RELATED Kobra Khanom SECTIONS * Recent * Cover * Writers * Arts & lit * Opinion * Satire * History * Interviews * Travel * Women * Rights * Surveys * All sections

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