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April 1, 2003

Good questions. Good answers


What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife.


What's the Cuban National Anthem?

Row, row, row your boat.


What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?

A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time."

A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."


Why does the bride always wear white?

Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.


How do you know when you're really ugly?

Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.


Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.


If moms have Mother's Day, dads have Father's Day, what do single guys have?

Palm Sunday.


What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"


Why do men want to marry virgins?

They can't stand criticism.


Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?

They named him Sum Ting Wong.


What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.


What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.


What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

45 lbs.


What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

45 minutes.


Sent by Mahdiyeh Javid

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