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August 12, 2004

Top 25 Signs You're an Iranian Guy

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25. You have an Intravenous bottle attached to your bed injecting you with chelokabob so that your chelokabab blood level doesn't titter dangerously low during the night.

24. Your idol is Al Pacino in 'Scarface'.

23. You introduce yourself to blondes at nightclubs as 'half-Italian, half-Spanish'.

22. Your name is Abdolghassem but for some reason your business card reads 'Tony'.

21. You will dump your neurosurgeon Iranian girlfriend in a second if you think you had a tenth of a chance with that fat Polish chick who sprays "Obsession" in the mall for a living. (But she's a blonde.)

20. You are in your seventh year studying "pre-med" at the university.

19. After the seventh year you switch to "pre-law".

18. After that you decide to go into real estate.

17. You own a BMW that's so old it won't start (but at least you get to say you drive a BMW at parties.)

16. Hair, hair, and more hair!

15. Your friends' names are Tony, Mike, and Bob, but they can't speak a word of English!

14. You talk to your friends on the cellphone even though they're 10 feet away.

13. Your only cure for any illness is "chai nabaat"!

12. YOU BLAME THE REVOLUTION ON EVERYONE EXCEPT YOURSELVES!

11. You were supposedly a doctor -- in Iran.

10. You love ghourmeh sabzi.

9. You tell everyone that your parents were very close friends of the Shah.

8. You constantly remind your kids to eat as much as you can when you go to mehmoonee.

7. You are always asking fellow Persians about their income, and how much they bought their car, house, business...

6. You make Turkish jokes even though your own relatives are Turkish.

5. Every day you have a new cellphone in your hand or hanging out your pocket just so people can have a good look.

4. One word: HAIR TRANSPLANT--God Bless the Bosley Institute & Propecia!

3. NO ONE CAN PRONOUNCE YOUR NAME PROPERLY

2. You think Persian girls are ugly but that's because you can't get any.

1. You can relate to 3 or more things on this list...

Sent by Srokh02

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