They make me want to be a better person
August 12, 2002
As I walked on the beach feeling each grain of sand between my toes, and the
swirling winds from the ocean waves blowing my hair in every direction, I couldn't
help but think about how grateful I was to be alive. Surrounded by my family -- the
people I love most in all of this world -- life didn't seem as dark as it has been
the past few months.
The mixture of four days of heat, sand, a beautiful condo overlooking the Gulf of
Mexico and the twenty people in my immediate family wasn't sounding too appealing
to me at first. I was sure at least one night there would be a brawl of some sort,
hopefully no one getting thrown off the balcony, but at least a good hot-blooded
Iranian argument. Because let's face it, the people closest to us are the one's who
can get on our nerves the most, and I didn't know if almost a week of such close
proximity would have positive results.
Watching the sun come up over the clear water made me realize how much I need them,
the way the water needs the sunlight to keep it warm. No matter how old I get or
how much they get on my nerves sometimes, they are my family. They know me better
than anyone. Through all the ups and downs of life, through the happiest moments
to the times when everything seems too hard to bear, one's family is the rock beneath
the shifting sands of this world.
I continue to learn that I am the Goddess of my life, that I choose what direction
it takes and how I react to circumstances and situations that arise. As the fifth
of a six-child family, I have had the support, love and encouragement that I need
from my wonderful and kind siblings. They are the solid ground that holds me on this
earth. My three sisters have been to me a counselor, a mother, and a friend. They
have cried and laughed with me, they have seen in me the greatness that I could not
see in myself.
My younger brother is the most wonderful and kind-hearted person I know, the only
person that can always make me fall on the floor laughing, the one person I would
want to be trapped with on a deserted Island. My oldest brother, a man of very few
words, has unknowingly brought to my attention the beauty of silence in a room filled
with the chaos of words.
All families have their quirks and oddities. I have
come to believe that every family is dysfunctional in one way or another. Some people
believe our souls choose which family we are born into, and although my family is
hilariously far from perfect, I don't think I would choose any other. They have taught
me so much about myself and life, their experiences have taught me the best paths
to take in my own journey. Their children, my five nieces and four nephews, are the
light of my life. A light that shines so brightly that it makes me want to be a better
person, a good example, and the best khaaleh in the world.
I would like to thank them for being my Sun and my Moon, for loving me for who I
am, and when necessary, reminding me who I am not. As certain as the tides rise and
fall throughout the oceans, as certain as the sun rises and sets, as certain as birds
soar and fishes swim, that is the certainty of my love for you. Always.