With the gentleness of a freight train
June 26, 2003
Almost twenty and yet she had never felt the pressure of someone
flutter against her own. When she was little, she would lie in
hours upon end, imagining her first encounter with Prince Charming.
would be enveloped in that angelic pink dress and his eyes would
like a shooting star against the blackness of night. When he stepped
toes, scraping her glass slipper, scuffing her favorite shoe,
belongings tumbling to the floor, she rolled her eyes at him.
Imperfection even followed her in her day dreams back then.
She rolled her eyes at him like he was nobody. She sighed a sigh
exasperation geared towards him as if he was just anybody. But
just anything. This is why she chewed furiously on her lower
lip in his
presence and nodded a nervous 'yes' when he asked to give her
a call later.
Her lip turned red, then purple, as if the sun was setting against
backdrop of her silken face. She was worried he wouldn't call,
the paper she had scrolled her pink pen across, and play best
of three with
the trash can. She worried he would forget about her.
He didn't. Her heart skipped beats when the phone began to ring.
straightened her hair, took a deep breath, shoving out the negativity
inside her brain. She smiled in the mirror, blushing as if he
her. His voice warmed her entire being, touching that once-empty
she had heard about and yet never had known existed.
Ten thousand minutes, seventy-nine phone calls, two hundred forty
rings. Hours of laughter and tears. And then he had said it. Those
that had crushed her heart with the weight of the moon and pumped
it up with
sweetness to fill in the expanse of the sun. Her ears, her eyes,
couldn't believe the simple words. She asked for him to repeat
it. He said
it again, "I'm gonna marry you one day."
She took more deep breath, trying to remember who she was and
life had been before this moment. She shoved out all the remaining
negativity. She took another deep breath. Deep. Deeper, and deeper
deeper than a knife wound, deeper than 10,000 leagues below the
she exhaled for good, blowing out the twenty candles, the years
lonliness, missed dances, unpursued smiles, unheld hands, unpassionate
"I Love You," he told her, and she was content,
for she had just
been kissed. He'd stood three feet away and kissed her heart with
gentleness of a freight train.
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