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Diary

July 12, 2003
The Iranian

Part 20

New Year's Day
Today I woke up in my old pajama's by the smell of... home. It had been a while. For the first time in too many years I wasn't drunk on the first day of January. I felt good about myself after a very long time. Remembering last night, the party in the Hague, made me feeling all happy.

Last night I had decided not to allow anything spoil the party for me. Especially that nosy Behnam. I'm trying to save myself, and that little prick comes along with his psycho crap and tries to ruin my evening. I guess something is bugging him.

In the middle of breakfast, the phone rang. It was Negin. I hadn't heard anything from her in days. That wasn't like her.

"Hey Neg, happy new year, che khabar?"

"Hey Awiiii, khoobi?"

"Mersi, che khabar?"

"Hey biyaa online!"

"Negin, I can't anymore. I told you."

"Awi loos nasho digeh, biyaa. I want to tell you something and I can't on the phone."

"Ok, let me see if my dad's connection is working."

I went online with my dad's computer. Negin invited me to a private room and started chatting.

"Negin, you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah ... daaram miram Iran for about a 3 months."

"AREH???? To do what?"

"To work on a project. I'm going to get paid big time!!! And then I will go to Dubai to finally see Abbas. It's really about time he and I met."

"It is about damn time... that's really good. I'm happy for you."

"Yeah... you know this chat, really sucks. I have to distance myself from it. Just like you, Awi, toham paasho biyaa Iran...We can be together; we'll rent a place and have fun."

"Negin, as appealling as that sounds, I don't have the money at this time and I'm really trying to start something with my life. By the way, you're going to work there. What am I supposed to do? Visit family?"

"Awi, so we'll find something for you. Maybe a job in the company I work for. And it'll be good for you to get out. These European countries are depressing."

"You're right but I can't go anywhere right now. Maybe in April. Will you still be in Iran?"

"Yeah, I'll stay long if you're coming. By the way how's Omid?"

"I don't know. I guess he's still at Shahram's. He sms-ed me a couple of times."

"Awi, how do you feel about him? Are you still in love?"

"Nemidoonam Negin..."

I really didn't know. For the last couple of days I tried not to think about Omid. I was trying to avoid thinking about what would happen to us. I couldn't imagine being with him in a long-distance relationship. I need someone besides me, here. Well I guess that's that.

I decided to give him a call. I dialled his number but he had turned off his phone. I dialled again and it was still turned off. Later on that night I dialled and suddenly this girl picked up the phone.

"Alo?"

Before I had time to respond, the line got disconnected. I called again and it was turned off again! The next morning I tried again. This time Omid picked up his phone with a sleepy voice.

"Salam Omid; maloom hast kojaaee?"

"Hey Awi, I was at a party yesterday with Shahram and Nakisa and today I'm going back home."

"Who was the girl who picked up your phone last night?"

"What girl?"

"That GIRL who picked up YOUR phone..."

"I don't know Awi, I was soo drunk last night..."

"Oh so you don't know?"

"Na azizam, I really don't, my phone was on the table, so anyone could've picked it up."

Suddenly I heard a girl saying: "Kiyeh telefon?"

Omid answered: "My girlfriend."

The girl responded: "Kodoom yekishoon?"

Omid answered: "Yani chi? Maskhareh! Awi, in Nakisa khol shode."

"Yeah, you know what they say, birds of a feather flock together."

And I hung up. I waited for him to call me back and apologize for his friend's behaviour and the fact why he didn't say anything more than "maskhareh". When you say "maskhareh" it's like saying to the person whose making you laugh., "Oh cut it out!" I checked my phone to see if he had called. He never did.

It was something I didn't want to think about. It was clear, if I listened to myself. The fact was Omid and I had nothing anymore. But unfortunatly I was still in denial.

TO BE CONTINUED

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