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What are these feelings creeping inside me?

February 8, 2007

The feeling of being a ridicule,

by the idea of being a romantic fool,

is suddenly erased, remembering Cyrano De Bergerac ... and so I keep writing ... cause, I am 

Intoxicated by a thought

Wistful in anticipation,

Lingering in the waiting room of love,

Fear is trying to be intimidating, but my instinct and intuition laugh him out.

What are all these questions popping up, making me wondering, and sniffing on the secrets of other realms trying to get an answer. 

What are these feelings creeping inside me?

I thought that my heart’s gates were intact and impenetrable ...

What has my intent done? ... inviting a stranger into my being.

Why has my desire gone amok? ... I thought it was under control.

Why is my mind silent? ...   I thought that it was well trained.

How come my longing is being so vital? I thought it no longer had any power.

Why are my fingers typing words for a stranger?  Or is she a stranger?

Why is she calling upon me?

What does she want from me?

What does she do in me?

Each day, I look forward to one thing above all ... the words that she types ... on the other side.  And yet, I have not even heard her voice ...

Sometimes, it is as if she is in another dimension ... cause such connection is not common ... not anymore ... not in this day and age ... with malice and gloom covering people’s hearts. 

What is this bizarre feeling of annoyance, when thinking of her in someone else’s bed, in the past?  Is this what other people call jealousy?

My instinct and intuition are no longer of any help ... and that little voice inside has long given up his impartial tone ... pushing and pushing me ... towards her.

Her heart is trembling ... she KNOWS. 

It is a terrible thing ... to finally find what you have indented and dreamed about is within your reach.

It is a scary feeling ... the feeling of happiness ... and joy so close that all you need to do is just to take a step.

It is scary ... one step into the land of love ... and then lost ... forever. Comment

Cameron Batmanghlich

Arts & literature


Let Me Tell You Where I've Been
New Writing by Women of the Iranian Diaspora
by Persis M. Karim (Editor)

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