As
part of my ongoing mission/hobby to criticize the LA
music machine, just when I think I've run out of material
out comes another bucket'o'shit.
This
time in the form of Shahram
Kashani (sorry bitch I'm
not spelling your name Shahrum you twit!).
The
album cover has him with this fem shit eating grin on
his face, and the name of the album is get this, Khoshhalam.
No? Really? Khoshhali? Bia inja ba in albumeh gohet bezanam
to saret bebinam hanooz khoshhali!
Once
more Techno-fied 6/8 overused to death, and just to be
safe they've thrown in a Bandari song per usual. Is it
me or has Bandari now become our equivalent of Country
Western?
But
there's a new stinky wind a blowin' from the south folks.
It appears the "geniuses" in LA now want us
to play the hemale-shemale "Is he gay? or is he
straight?" game now. You see it repeated across
the board, with every "star" they get their
greasy hands on. Long hair, wet lips, tweezed eyebrows,
plenty of hair product and make up. It's Glam baby!
What's
next? Let me predict that they will take the girl singers
and turn them butch. Nah! They'd never go for that. That's
too "cool", even for them.
Shahram's
eyebrows are so tweezed, and his eyes are so sparkly
green and his lips so seductively wet, it will make you
feel all funny inside. No, not that kind of funny, funny
more like when you bite into an apple and find half a
worm.
God
does LA music (for the most part) suck!
Anyhow
this
album is so bad... I'm sorry.... I really can't
continue... Urp...You know, I kind of don't feel too
well all of a sudden.... I'm kind of nauseous...
...Must
be something I heard.
by Behrouz
Bahmani with
special thanks to Maryam Optimized June 28, 2005
iranian.com
Recently
a friend punched me in the mouth with a new and wonderful find,
the kind that like all good sexual diseases you can only catch
from a friend.
Laleh
is a new phenomenon, this time coming to us via Sweden and parts
of North Sea Europe. Apparently we are too jaded to deserve her
here. That and LA wouldn't know what to do with this music, it's
that god-damned refreshing.
With
a voice that is some variation of that nameless female lead in
Missing Persons meets Sioxie and the Banshees, meets Bjork, meets
Sinead, or something like all of that combined, Laleh's voice
is as fresh and unspoiled as her 20 something looks.
We
all extol the quintessentially unchallenged beauty of the Iranian
woman, and here in California that seems to all too often include
tons of make-up, augmented boobs, lots of accessories that have
the letters L, V, G, and C in them, and the cherry on the cake
(or pie!), a shiny nose job. But in Laleh's case there's none
of that and you can actually appreciate her simple beauty and
you're not sure if it shines from inside or what's going on,
but she's wonderful to look at.
It
also appears as if her music actually says something (Surprised?
Don't worry it's not your fault.), which I find even more refreshing
because unlike the usual vomit we have to spoon off of the gutters of
the LA machine, this stuff is deep.
Even
though it is clear that Invisible is the main anthem being pushed
from her latest album, I still challenge that Live Tomorrow is
the real hit single. A cross between EBTG, and some sort of revisit
to Sade's hideout, it's a hauntingly catchy loop that suggests
maybe we shouldn't be too concerned about tomorrow and enjoy
today, the here and now. A tried concept to be sure, but in the
context of this infectious melody, it really strikes your heart
anew. You want to leave the office, tear off your tie, run through
the nearest park, or kiss your wife. Hard.
Maybe
it's because my Laleh infection is still ripe and itchy, but
I also found the lyrics of some of her other songs to be actually
(Dare I say it? Gulp!) relevant! I hope I get to ask her one
day if this was her intention and if the references are meant
to be about Iran and its situation, or if it was an abstract
thought that happens to apply. Maybe I won't even ask, just in
case.
I
could not understand her Swedish, because actually I don't understand
anyone's Swedish, and I found the language to be a bit harsh
for my taste in music (kind of like eating goat cheese), but
the melodies and chording was as rich as the other songs, so
I'll take it on faith.
There
are clear Iranian references on 2 songs Hame Baham, and Yek Gooshe.
These songs are not all Iranian, but if you wait for it, you
get more than the pay off you hoped for.
I
couldn't find where you can buy her album here, but you can visit
her website if you can read Swedish and you can always drop her
a line www.laleh.se.
Also see her photos.
Laleh
is a new phenomenon, this time coming to us via Sweden and parts
of North Sea Europe. Apparently we are too jaded to deserve her
here. That and LA wouldn't know what to do with this music, it's
that god-damned refreshing.
We
all extol the quintessentially unchallenged beauty of the Iranian
woman, and here in California that seems to all too often include
tons of make-up, augmented boobs, lots of accessories that have
the letters L, V, G, and C in them, and the cherry on the cake
(or pie!), a shiny nose job. But in Laleh's case there's none
of that and you can actually appreciate her simple beauty and
you're not sure if it shines from inside or what's going on,
but she's wonderful to look at.
It
also appears as if her music actually says something (Surprised?
Don't worry it's not your fault.), which I find even more refreshing
because unlike the usual vomit we have to spoon off of the gutters of
the LA machine, this stuff is deep.
Even
though it is clear that Invisible is the main anthem being pushed
from her latest album, I still challenge that Live Tomorrow is
the real hit single. A cross between EBTG, and some sort of revisit
to Sade's hideout, it's a hauntingly catchy loop that suggests
maybe we shouldn't be too concerned about tomorrow and enjoy
today, the here and now. A tried concept to be sure, but in the
context of this infectious melody, it really strikes your heart
anew. You want to leave the office, tear off your tie, run through
the nearest park, or kiss your wife. Hard.
Maybe
it's because my Laleh infection is still ripe and itchy, but
I also found the lyrics of some of her other songs to be actually
(Dare I say it? Gulp!) relevant! I hope I get to ask her one
day if this was her intention and if the references are meant
to be about Iran and its situation, or if it was an abstract
thought that happens to apply. Maybe I won't even ask, just in
case.
