June 26, 2005
Religious wife is no fun
I am a 45-year-old Iranian male living in America for most of my life.
I recently married a 24-year-old girl from Iran. She had spent all her
life in Iran and was brought up in a conservative family. I, on the
other hand, am very liberal and like to explore new things and navigate
in the un-chartered territories. Specifically, my problem is that I
would like to engage in non-conventional sex. But she resists me with
all the traditional and religious taboo-like pretexts she had been
taught growing up.
I have had multiple relationships with multiple women sometimes at the
same time and I am used to having various forms of sexual acts. But,
when I decided to get married, I thought it would be a good idea to
marry a pure person. That’s why I decided to marry someone from
Iran. But, after a short while I started missing the kinds of things I
used to do with other women. I want those liberal sexual adventures!
This problem is becoming so big that I am afraid our marriage is about
to fall apart.
I was just wondering if you could shed some light on my
Sometimes, when we are mired in a life situation,
things become so chaotic that it is difficult to see. The simple
becomes complex, the clear becomes blurry, and the obvious becomes
I think the best I can do to shed light on your
predicament is summarize the issue and suggest that you read my summary
many, many times. Here it is:
* You are a sexually
unconventional man who thought it was a good idea to marry a much
younger “pure” woman who is “traditional and
religious.” Now, you are upset because she doesn’t want to
engage in liberal sexual adventures with you.
* Think hard about that. In fact, read it aloud a couple
I believe the best next step for you and your wife is
to seek the assistance of a licensed therapist qualified in marital
counseling. A therapist can help guide you towards a better
understanding of yourself while creating a safe and open place for you
and your wife to have a frank discussion about your sexual preferences.
This conversation sounds like it is long overdue.
I wish you and your wife much luck,
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