Heart of the puzzle
to why we are where we are
May 5, 2005
I am 19-years old and I have been living in the U.S. half of my life. I
left Iran when I was a little girl with my parents. All my knowledge
and education about the Iran-Iraq war in school was very
much censored, amended and adjusted to the government's political
ends. It was hard to take people's words for it
and trust their statements, so you always had this doubt
skepticism in you.
The other lingering issue was is that in Iran there is this tendency
of radicalism and going hard core and straight out madmanly on things
considering a limit. I'm still not adament nor fully knowledged on
tendency is in Iranian culture
or simply brought by religion to the world and by the Islamic Republic
to modern Iran?!
As I remember and think about it, this sense of radicalism
and extremism in the regime was beginning to take its toll and
fire back after about
20 years into the Islamic Republic. The result and outcome of this was that
people and even kids my age were being somewhat turned off. They
developed feelings of evasion and escaped to things exactly
the reverse of what they were fed day and night.
It was as if the only full, solitary replacement that neutralized and deactivated
this extremism was to
go the opposite way in equal extreme intensity.
This is somewhat how I felt
when I was in Iran. As a curious girl I was put off by others
imposing their will and views on me. I got in trouble evey now
and then for questioning what I was being fed in Iran. I wanted
my own air. So when I was coming aboard I developed this sense of running
away as far as possible from the Iran I knew (the Iran I grew up in). I was
hardcore in going at the culture and ethos I was landing on. However
this feeling didn't last long; it was just a short-term
amusement because of my ignorance of Western culture and,
most importantly, of my own culture.
As the world
order changed and started embarking on a new era (9/11), I became
confused and stranded in my childish dreams and in the quake
between the two colliding earths I had lived on. This current world
order took advantage
of my lack of knowledge of where I was coming from and led me to shame
and sadness. I don't know why it touched me but it did and you
know how they
say... if you can't change it, you can't worry about it? Well, I figured
I couldn't change the world but I could change me.
Therefore I started
studying Iran from the heart of it's core and after a couple
of months I turned upside down. I was even brought to tears
by the power of enlightnment I was experiencing, of what Iran really
is and how little I knew about it. I knew it was not my fault and
I was deceived
by what meets the eye and by Iran's current image in the world,
just like the majority of people. I was discovering
to why we are where we are and it was so empowering and enlightening.
It still is and will always be, as I have so much more to learn
peices of puzzle keep coming together.
I am very ambitious and future-oriented
but I've come to believe knowledge is power and in order to drive
ahead I need to keep my eyes on what's in front of me with AWARNESS
and KNOWLEGE of my rear-end mirrior!
wondering if anyone out there has been in the war with Iraq
(veteran) and has first hand, real life experience
it and would
be kind enough to share it with me and answer my questions. I was very
little during the last periods of the war and everyone has their
own take on
it but people say a lot of things. I know there are many written
records and texts on this, but I want to hear about the way it
was from a person who endured and felt it
in the heart. Please write me.