A little bit of crap won't hurt, would it?
By Javid Djalili
October 29, 2001
A father of teenage children had the family rule that they could not
attend "R" rated movies. His three teens wanted to see a particular
popular movie that was playing at local theaters. It was rated "R."
The teens interviewed friends and even some members of their family's
church to find out what was offensive in the movie. The teens made a list
of pros and cons about the movie to use to convince their dad that they
should be allowed to see it.
The con's were that it contained ONLY three swear words, the ONLY violence
was a building exploding (and you see that on TV all the time they said),
and you actually did not "see" the couple in the movie having
sex -- it was just implied sex, off camera.
The pros were that it was a popular movie -- a blockbuster. Everyone
was seeing it. If the teens saw the movie then they would not feel left
out when their friends discussed it. The movie contained a good plot. It
had some great adventure and suspense in it. There were some fantastic special
Besides, many of members of their church had even seen the movie and
said it wasn't "that bad". Therefore, the teens said they were
asking their father to reconsider his position on just this ONE movie and
let them have permission to go see it.
The father looked at the list and thought for a few minutes. He said
he could tell his children had spent some time and thought on their request.
He asked if he could have a day to think about it. The teens were thrilled
thinking; "Now we've got him! Our argument is too good! Dad can't
turn us down!" So, they happily agreed to let him have a day to think.
The next evening the father called in his three teenagers into the living
room. They were smiling smugly. There on the coffee table he had a plate
of brownies. The teens were puzzled. The father told his children he had
thought about their request and had decided that if they would eat a brownie
then he would let them go to the movie. But just like the movie, the brownies
had pros and cons.
The pros were that they were made with the finest chocolate and other
good ingredients. They had the added special effect of yummy walnuts in
them. The brownies were moist and fresh with wonderful chocolate frosting
on top. He had made these fantastic brownies using an award-winning recipe.
And best of all, the brownies had been made lovingly by the hand of their
The brownies only had one problem. It contained just a little bit of...
dog poop. But he had mixed the dough well -- they probably would not even
be able to taste the difference. He had baked them at 350 degrees so any
germs had probably been destroyed.
Therefore, if any of his children could stand to eat the brownies which
included just a little bit of crap and not be affected by it, then he knew
they would also be able to see the movie with just a little bit of smut
and not be affected.
Of course, none of the teens would eat the brownies and the smug smiles
left their faces. Only Dad was smiling smugly as they left the room. Now
when his teenagers ask permission to do something he is opposed to, the
father just asks, "Would you like me to whip up a batch of my special