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Father's brownies
A little bit of crap won't hurt, would it?

By Javid Djalili
October 29, 2001
The Iranian

A father of teenage children had the family rule that they could not attend "R" rated movies. His three teens wanted to see a particular popular movie that was playing at local theaters. It was rated "R."

The teens interviewed friends and even some members of their family's church to find out what was offensive in the movie. The teens made a list of pros and cons about the movie to use to convince their dad that they should be allowed to see it.

The con's were that it contained ONLY three swear words, the ONLY violence was a building exploding (and you see that on TV all the time they said), and you actually did not "see" the couple in the movie having sex -- it was just implied sex, off camera.

The pros were that it was a popular movie -- a blockbuster. Everyone was seeing it. If the teens saw the movie then they would not feel left out when their friends discussed it. The movie contained a good plot. It had some great adventure and suspense in it. There were some fantastic special effects too.

Besides, many of members of their church had even seen the movie and said it wasn't "that bad". Therefore, the teens said they were asking their father to reconsider his position on just this ONE movie and let them have permission to go see it.

The father looked at the list and thought for a few minutes. He said he could tell his children had spent some time and thought on their request. He asked if he could have a day to think about it. The teens were thrilled thinking; "Now we've got him! Our argument is too good! Dad can't turn us down!" So, they happily agreed to let him have a day to think.

The next evening the father called in his three teenagers into the living room. They were smiling smugly. There on the coffee table he had a plate of brownies. The teens were puzzled. The father told his children he had thought about their request and had decided that if they would eat a brownie then he would let them go to the movie. But just like the movie, the brownies had pros and cons.

The pros were that they were made with the finest chocolate and other good ingredients. They had the added special effect of yummy walnuts in them. The brownies were moist and fresh with wonderful chocolate frosting on top. He had made these fantastic brownies using an award-winning recipe. And best of all, the brownies had been made lovingly by the hand of their own father.

The brownies only had one problem. It contained just a little bit of... dog poop. But he had mixed the dough well -- they probably would not even be able to taste the difference. He had baked them at 350 degrees so any germs had probably been destroyed.

Therefore, if any of his children could stand to eat the brownies which included just a little bit of crap and not be affected by it, then he knew they would also be able to see the movie with just a little bit of smut and not be affected.

Of course, none of the teens would eat the brownies and the smug smiles left their faces. Only Dad was smiling smugly as they left the room. Now when his teenagers ask permission to do something he is opposed to, the father just asks, "Would you like me to whip up a batch of my special brownies?"

Comment for The Iranian letters section Comment for the writer Javid Djalili