Death of a saint
Why did you not get on a plane?
By Mrs. Ajudani
January 29, 2001
A month ago... When I say that it seems strange as it seems
years since I had touched his beautiful Persian face or heard his gracious
voice. You see, my husband, Dr. Ajudani committed suicide .
I am unable to accept that while life goes on, I can not
seem to grasp the fact that he chose suicide (a permanent solution to a
temporary problem). He chose to lie silent under a tree in LA , a place
he seldom visited and did not know himself. His family chose the spot. I
wonder if it was because it was convenient or did they (sisters) truly believe
he would have wanted this, while his beloved sister lies silent in Tehran.
The day he chose to die, he, I assume, went over his check
list. He arranged everything from my Christmas present, to writing the kids,
to telling me to order checks soon. The last person he met with was a ROOFER!
He then retreated to our son's room for the final hours.
He wrote to his attorney and mailed it some time in the
early am hours. He wrote a check and sent along with it (he wanted his sisters
and mom to be cared for). Then he wrote a 2-3 page suicide note. He wrote how he had tried to be a good person and how everything seemed
to go wrong, from his business to his friend leaving him.
Sometime thereafter he wrote a note to the maid stating,
"Do not enter the home, I have taken my life." He had prepared
carefully; wrapped his head in towels, etc. Left a blood remover nearby
and fired the shot.
From the moment I discovered this I have thought of nothing
else. I ask, why did you not get on a plane, if you missed anyone? You had
the resources to go anywhere. You had the big home, the education; you had
it all. Maybe it was the all that you did not know you had. But oh you so
did have my love forever. I never gave up on you in life and will not in
death. I must believe you are sleeping in a better world.