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What are men made of?
I never let any man get close to me, and if he happens to be Iranian, I run!

By S.M.
June 5, 2002
The Iranian

I just heard that my "happily married - with four kids" friend was beaten with a belt by her "Western-educated, broad minded" husband. I was horrified!

They have everything any young couple would want! I knew he has a temper, but then again so do I! Never in my wildest dreams could I have seen this happening to her! This is what you see in movies set in New York. Not here!

My first question was "WHY?" What possessed him to do this? The answer. She nagged too much!

My other friend (also married to a Western-educated atypical Iranian man) constantly has to hide fragile objects around the house. Her husband has a tendency to break things when he gets angry!

When I was younger my mother had a friend who was always bruised in some place or another. I never paid too much attention nor cared enough to notice. It's only now that I've been told her husband loses control when he's high! I was furious!

Why would she stay with him? Why not leave the bastard? She's young and independent. Why should she support her good for nothing junkie husband? But she couldn't leave him. She was petrified of her husband finding her and hurting her only child. I had to fight back tears when I heard about it.

My friend's (once again) IRANIAN boyfriend cheated on her openly for 6 years, and tortured her mentally. Now that he is out of jail (possession with intent) he has the balls to ask her out to dinner again!

What are men made of?

I'm sorry if I generalize but that's all I've seen around me lately. Maybe I hang with the wrong crowd or that my friends are all disaster magnets. But for these reasons I built a wall around myself. I never let any man get close to me, and if he happens to be Iranian, I run!

I just want some feedback from men. Iranian or not it doesn't matter. If you happen to be an abusive man, and man enough to admit it, please write to me. Tell me what goes through your mind when you hit the woman you claim to love? The woman who is probably the mother of your children! Do you apologize later? Maybe buy her some flowers too. Do you cry and beg for another chance (AGAIN) -- the way I see on TV?

Do you get a kick out of beating a woman? Do you brag to your friends about it or make her pretend she fell and bruised her eye -- the same place you happened to have punched her.
Is the beating premeditated? Do you think on your way from work "I'm gonna have my dinner and give her a good beating!"

Do you REALLY believe you are human and deserve the wife / partner that you have? I don't believe you deserve to be alive. If my mother were to read this she would make me say "tobeh kon", in case GOD FORBID I ever end up with an abusive man.

Please, somebody, answer me. Just tell me, WHY?

Comment for The Iranian letters section
Comment for the writer S.M.


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