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Who wants to be god?
Innocence is GONE! You are part of a viscous, greedy, power-hungry society

By Yana Youhana
January 8, 2003
The Iranian

We are born equaly, honest, pure and without any flaws, at least spritually (not talking about the cloned baby Eve. We don't know anything about wants and needs. Our surviaval instinct makes us breath, eat, and sleep. Most crutial is the need to be held in our mother or father's arms and feel the warmth of another being, to give us reassurance that we are safe.

We start playing, laughing, crying and demanding more. We realy don't know, but our strong sense of curiousity drives us towards that unkown domain. We like certain individuals, the ones who are nice to us and withdraw from those who make us cry.

We start growing.

The family injects belifs into our veins and society's do's and don'ts. Our child's heart sometimes refuses the rules, we don't know why. We keep growing. Boys and girls now, we play the same games without ristrictions. We play and play and play and laugh our innocence away.

We are now 6-years old and put in different schools. All you see is the same childeren, like yourslef, with black and white skirts. You don't see anyone with pants. There starts your notion of being different. You can't play with your brother and his friends who used to be your friends too. You feel confused, what's going on? And no one explains anything. You have to figure it out on your own! Childhood is over.

The realization kicks in on a snowy winter day when you get your first painfull period while playing outside. The red blood scares you. Suddenly the snow looks muddy and dark. Your heart sinks deep into your chest and you realize you have changed and you don't like the change. It scares you just like when you were coming to this world, you don't know what awaits you.

You keep growing.

One day, you meet a boy in the neighboorhood. You feel differently towards him than you do for your mother, sister and brother. You want to see that boy again and again and again and when you don't, you feel sad.

You don't know anything about touching, kissing and hugging. All you know and want is just to see him and his black eyes staring at you and his smile that is brighter than the sun that makes you so happy. You don't want anything else in the world.

Many many years later when your heart has been broken into a million little pieces by different men, you crave for those black eyes and that warm smile. You realize you never felt like that ever again and that he was your first LOVE!

You keep growing.

You are a woman now. All that innocence is GONE! You are part of a viscous, greedy, power-hungry society. Nothing makes you happy, and everyone seems to be shallow and fake. Your only salvation is a glimpse into a very quick moment in the long ago past. What should you do? End this or go on being part of this distructive society?

Everywhere, from the small family unit to the large world, all you see is killing, and killing and killing. You feel disgusted, you don't want any part of this anymore, you realize again that GOD IS DEAD, he or she commited suicide. Who would want to be a god in this messed up world we have created?

You keep growing.

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