 Forgiveness
The distance between him and me got bigger every
day
By Fatemeh Parsa
May 24, 2003
The Iranian
My father has a very bad temper. All I can remember from my childhood
is that he was always yelling, fighting and breaking things. Because
of what he did, we never got close together.
As an eight-year-old kid I didn't expect him to come and play with
me or spend a lot of time with me. Although I would've liked that,
all I wanted was that he stops being so angry and be more kind instead.
Well, he didn't change and the distance between him and me got
bigger every day.
Years past and by the time I was 15 or 16 I started arguing with
him about different things but he was never there or even if he
was he wasn't actually interested in my opinion. Frorm his point
of view he was always right and I was always wrong . Maybe because
I wasn't as old as him.
Whenever he was with his friends he was in a very good mood but
as soon as he stepped into the house he was always angry or he didn't
want to be disturbed. That wasn't fair; even me as a child could
notice it. After all we, my mother and my brother and sister needed
him too.
From that moment I started hating him and blaming him for almost
everything. Well, I didn't show my feelings cause I was scared but
deep down I really didn't want to know him any more. I even considered
myself as someone who had lost her father.
Two years ago we've found out that he is very ill. He's got to
operate and the operation is too risky to do, so he might not make
it. Of course I was very sad, I couldn't wish such a thing for anyone,
even my enemy. So I've tried to forgive him but I couldn't.
There are still things which annoy me a lot. Since his illness,
he has been exaggerating or faking things. He's been using his illness
as an excuse for everything. That was it, I found it unacceptable.
I will never have a good relationship with my father. That's how
I thought until last month.
I still don't know what happened but suddenly I've felt closer
to him and things have gotten better. I have used this opportunity
because I always wanted to be close to him. We still have to work
out a lot of things but at least I could forget the past and finally
forgive him and I'm grateful for that.
Once a very wise man said: if you don't like someone, it's because
you don't like what he does but not because you don't really like
that person. I totally agree.
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Forgiveness
