 Damn you!
I will have my heart broken a thousand times
By Mitra K.
April 28, 2004
iranian.com
You know, I can sit here and argue with you.
Call you names. Tell you how cruel a person you are, and how you
broke my heart. But what's the use? How is
it going to change anything? What's done is done. So I'm not going
to waste precious time saying that shit.
Instead I want to thank you. No, there
is nothing wrong with your hearing; I did say I want to thank you. I learned
a lot from being with you. In some ways I learned about love. I mean you
are the first person I have fallen in love with. By being with
you and loving you
I understood myself better. I realised things about myself that I had never
noticed before.
You made me believe how beautiful I am, inside and
out. With you, I learned
to be more confident and self assured. I discovered that I am one of the
few really virtuous and good-natured people in the world. No,
I am not kidding.
You will not find anybody more honest and caring and mature and calm and
independent than me.
By loving you I learned to love myself.
I want to thank you for that.
You also taught me a thing or two about Iranian men. Like how damn gheyratee
they are. How over protective of their women they are.
I want to thank
you for
bringing excitement and joy in my life. You know, for a while I had found
Nirvana. I had reached ultimate happiness. I mean, how many people
in the world do you
think are truly happy in their life? Not many. With you I learned about
life. How intoxicating it is. How pure. How good it can be to us
sometimes.
I also
learned that when you wish for something really, really, really, really
hard it becomes true. I did not try to make anything happen.
I just wished for
someone to love, and you popped into my life. I mean I was
not searching for you. I
wasn't
looking around for that "Persian Prince". So I guess that goes
to show that just when we stop searching, trying to make pleasant things
happen, and become extremely frustrated and just totally give up, that
joyous event
that
we have been waiting for our whole life finally happens.
But, the same
way you just appeared out of nowhere, you disappeared. Maybe this is
the way it's
supposed to happen. Maybe this is all planned. I mean, they say everything
happens for a reason, correct? So perhaps this is all for the better.
I also learned
to look past you faults and mistakes and love you for who you are.
I'm sure you did the same thing, because after all no one is perfect
and flawless.
I want to thank you for the fun times we had together.
We laughed,
we cried, we.... well, anyways. Thank you for listening to me.
It's not often that I show my true feelings and emotions to fellow
human beings. But with
you I was comfortable. I could tell you anything. Because I knew you
would not judge
me or think any less of me. You loved me no matter what. Merci.
I want
to thank you for something else too. You have given me a topic that
I can write endlessly
about. Love. You. Thanks to you I can now relate to all those songs
I hear on the radio. The ones about broken hearts. About once
having something,
then it
is suddenly taken away from you.
I now wonder, is this the way it's
always going to be? I mean you fall in love, think it's going
to last forever,
and then you just lose everything. I think to myself does god hate
me? What the hell did I do to deserve this? You want to hear
that after you
I never
want to
fall in love again, don't you? You want to hear me say that I will
never find anybody as loving and caring as you, eh? Well you
are absolutely wrong.
Yes, I did think that way for a while, but then I
said to myself what is the reason for my existence? Love. Love
is why we are all
here
today. Adam
loved
Eve. So I'm sure I will fall in love over and over and over again.
And I will have my heart broken a thousand times. But this
is the way life
is. No one said it was going to be easy. I just have to be very
brave. I have to
be
strong. And think of it as a good experience when it's over.
Every
time my heart starts to hurt I have to think about the things
I've gained
through it. I'll have many, many sleepless hours of darkness.
I'll have to listen to Faramrz Aslani sing "Ageh
Yeh Rooz" and
cry myself
to sleep many cold and
endless nights. But it's part of the game. Not very fun, is it?
See, the way I see it is you have to live every day
not expecting a damn
thing, that way
whatever happens it'll be like a good surprise. I think I lost
my point between all this cherto pert. Oh yes, thank you, than
you,
and thank
you...
You know, I don't know whether to cry or to laugh.
I mean I just got my
heart
broken. I loved you more than anything in the world. We were
supposed to marry each other and live the rest of our lives
together. All
the things
you promised,
you broke those promises. But on the other hand, I think
life is too short. I shouldn't waste me time crying over something
that has happened.
These
tears are not going to do any good. I have to get over
you and move on. I know a part of me will always feel empty without
you,
but what
can I
do? Daste man
nist ke.
So thank you, I want you to know that I will never
ever forget you, and I will always love you. Adieu. Saturday, Nov. 9th, 2002
.................... Say
goodbye to spam!
*
*
|
Damn you!
