We'll have fun -- again
May 18, 2004
I met this
angel a few years ago. We both were very good friends at first.
The first time I saw her I instantly fancied her, but because I
relationship my conscience didn't allow me to ask her
out (I wish I did). My relationship wasn't serious
with the girl. I was going out with (two-faced such and
such..), but it still didn't feel right asking my love
out on a date.
After a month or two we were both
single. I was working at this place, it was a boring
job & I didn't have much to do, so I used to go on MSN
a lot & I had her on my MSN contact list. I always
chatted with her. She was always kind to me. Whenever I
felt sad and down, she always came and talked to me
and calmed me with her kind words, with her beautiful
green eyes. She used to/still does talk about
everything that mattered/matters in this life with
passion. That was one of the reasons I really liked
her. She was unbelievably different.
One day she came
down to my workplace because my grandfather had passed
away and I was very depressed. That day she made me
feel like I was once again alive and not a dead man
walking on earth. Because of my previous horrible relationship
I at first tried not to get too close. I was scared, but I
started to fancy her even more. She was/is absolutely
different from other girls. I can't even compare.
day we decided to go to central London to smoke a little bit
of qelyoon and walk about. We were walking and I
started singing the song "Maraa Beboos" to her. Iwas
that night I took the risk and asked her out. I
would have never thought she would say yes. I always
thought I wasn't good enough for her. I even told her
and she with her soft voice said to me not to think
that way. She even told her mother how happy she was
to go out with me. I was really happy that night and felt like
I was in heaven/still am.
Throughout our relationship we had ups and downs that
we dealt with. But I made one big mistake, one huge
mistake that I really, deeply and truly regret, and
that was not listening to her, which I thought I
did. She always solved my problems. She listened to
me. She basically did everything for me that she could
One day she told me she was in love with me. I was all
in tears -- never told her, don't know why. I should
have, it was wrong to keep such secret from an angle
who wanted me close to her emotionally. I was over the
moon, I was very happy but scared that I might get too
attached and then somewhere along the line things
might go wrong. But I was already in love with her. I
had to listen to my heart and my heart was saying "yes,
love her, she will never hurt you, she will protect
you, and you will protect her."
I always acted tough because I thought by keeping an
angry face I could deal with my problems. Sometimes I
took out my anger on my love, but she kept quiet and
told me that wasn't the real me. She kissed me and
calmed me down. She insisted to sit and listen to my
problems. I told her everything.
She basically knows
everything about me. From the day I was born to this
day, she knows it all. She recommended me to a
councillor. She even found the address, emailed them. She talked
me to go back to university, and I did. I ended up leaving university
after having many problems
within my household. She told me it was ok. She once
again listened, and told me everything was going to be
Anyhow, I've come to realise how wrong I've been. I
basically want to apologize and tell
her how much I love here and that I will always be
there for her.
"D" I love you (eshghe man), no matter what.
I'm a changed man, and I will not prove it to you by
repeating the word "sorry", I will prove it to
you by my actions. We'll have fun again, I'll promise you.
And I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart
listening to me all this time. It's my turn
to listen to you properly. I will always remember this
poem you wrote to me. It
will live within me and my love will grow stronger for
He came, placed his finger next to mine,
And began to draw a line with me.
It followed itself through to the growing of a Rose.
Who's scent, pale and melodious, grew within my
Dancing within my spirit, the offspring of joy, it
found its home within my heart.
May is Mamnoon
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