When Danny met Chanty
The new love of my life
February 23, 2005
You've heard about it in talk shows. You've
seen it in documentaries. You've even witnessed the peers,
mostly female talk about it in the healing circles at your gym
but you somehow never quite
understood just what the fuck they are talking about. How can you
possibly have orgasms -- and even better, multiple ones -- without
a pair of helping hands or even better without involving your own
Well, I don't know about you but I for one need
a good half hour of full body contact, hand job and a tooth Free
B.J. to be able
to get anywhere close to an orgasm.
I am awed when people talk about their kundalini experience, of
how they sit, eyes shut and cross legged and concentrate on the
flow of energy in their bodies and all of the sudden feel the heat
creeping up their bodies rushing into their heads and BOOM! Hazy
thoughts, violent shivers and wild sighs, one mind blowing orgasm
you can only experience once a year for $250, if you are lucky!
I never really understood any of that until last weekend when I
was introduced to the phenomenon, Multiple Orgasm.
I was walking up and down the aisles of the interior design show
minding my own business and some other odd looking, soft speaking,
leather pants wearing individuals', when this young fellow approached
me and with an enthusiastic tone asked me if I wanted to try their
new drink. I saw the Starbucks sign from the corner of my eyes
and thought, "what the heck! It's Starbucks!"
I picked one of the sample cups and gulped it down nonchalantly
trying to zone him and his two-cent-sales-pitch out. But I blacked
out for a split second. When I came to, I back paddled and picked
another sample cup, guzzled it down like a way low dope head yearning
for his after hour high. Speechless and confused, I hurried back
to the chap and stuttered, "What is this?". And that's
when I was introduced to the new love of my life, drink of heaven,
the gift of God... , Ladies and Gentlemen, my new addiction:
So I wrapped up the tour with couple of quick flirts and swapping
phone # with a couple of hot chicks and one leather wearing guy!!
After the show, I decided that it's been a long day and
I needed to treat myself to something to make me feel good, something
that doesn't need two hours of sweet talking, something
that I don't need to spend big bucks to make me forget for
So I stopped at the closest Starbucks and asked the
guy behind the cashier for the heavenly drink, "Make it Grande!"
said. The dude's mouth felt to the floor. "Are you
sure?" he said, "We serve this drink in small cups.
You might not need chocolate for the rest of the week!!" Now,
I can literally live on chocolate alone, that's how chocoholic
I am! So I just gave him a quick bored look and stayed silent.
When the barista announced "Grande Chantico" all heads
in Starbucks turn to see the one who flew over the cuckoo's
nest first hand.
As soon as I got comfortable in the subway car,
I started sipping and enjoying my twelve stops to home. It started
to kick in shortly.
I felt warmer inside but it wasn't just the inside that
was changing. Everything looked and felt different on the outside
too, in a good way. Suddenly the car didn't stink of the medley
of cheese, feet and ass but like a full can of air freshener and
the nut job sitting across from me and playing with himself
didn't look crazy but very sensitive, not to mention entertaining.
Suddenly the annoying school kids who'd rather shout
then talk didn't look like a bunch of gun carrying fuckheads
but innocent teenagers. I was just halfway through the cup and
the world seemed like a better place already. I kept getting
hotter and hotter and people in the subway kept getting foxier
I seemed to have reached the destination both physically and
As I got off the car, I started to REALLY get off!
The heat crept
up my legs into my spine up my head and then back down to my
entertainment centre! I was floating somewhere between When Harry
"oh yes, yes, YES!" And Monster's Ball's "Make
me feel good!!"
I was sweating and shaking and by the time
I reached the station's entrance, I had entered the gates
of bliss and reached the wildest orgasm ever. I was wet here,
down there and everywhere in between. I can't for the life
of me, remember when and how I got home but as soon as I entered
the door, I threw myself on the bed. I was spent and desperately
a Marlboro King, except I don't smoke!
Anyway, long story short, I experienced most people only
dream about. Touch free orgasm and the best part was I didn't
have to roll over pretending that I care and say: "Was it
good for you too?!"
Instead, I am glad to announce that my search for a meaningful
relationship has ended and Chantico and I are going to live
together happily ever after.