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Eat your placenta and have it too
There is nothing more irritating for a pregnant woman than a male partner who is more pregnant than herself


April 19, 2006

Since early seventies I have been somehow quietly prejudiced - or judiced - towards scientologists. The question for me has remained does scientology attract weirdoes or are weirdoes attracted to scientology?

In Munich - Georgen Strasse - I had a very kind but slightly weird older neighbour who had a room in the next door house. The house she lived in was semidetached or semi-attached to the house I lived in. Both houses were quite old and occupied otherwise by students or professional revolutionaries only. The houses were huge with big shared flats on each level   She invited me once to her room.

I was struck by the darkness and the pulled curtains in daytime. The room was full of history and there was a table especially dedicated to Jesus in his German version. I wasn't exactly shocked but knew that this woman was not an ordinary German woman. Well she was at most only a bit khol but perhaps on the verge of becoming a bit divaneh? But nothing I couldn't cope with. There was no reason not to be on friendly basis with her and not listen to her dard-e del as well, though I left the darkish creepy room sooner rather than later.

She told me that her husband had been a high ranking Nazi official during the war and that she had suffered so much when living with him. She said she had left him and had become a scientologist later, which had helped her a lot. In fact I thought her special interest in me could signify her seeking salvation. And I didn't mind at all.

Three years earlier my older sister in Mainz had revealed to me that the first landlady she had when she was 18 - and who was very caring towards her - had told her that when she had been a school girl in Nazi's Germany the children had been told by their teachers that after Jews it would be the turn for Arabs and Iranians as the inferior races.

This means that they even didn't distinguish Iranians from the others as Reza Shah and the fascist youth organisations in Iran had been so proud to do. Which proves that there is no point in being Arian when still a part of the third world, is there?

So let Persia be Iran as Siam is Thailand and call the language Persian not only for the sake of poetries already translated into European languages in the last few centuries, but also because Persian is the mother tongue of only two third of the Iranians. The rest have to face learning not only reading but speaking it as well for the first time when attending school at the age of six.

Iran literally means 'where the Arians pass'. The word raan also means breeze/wind as in Teheran (teh = warm) which means 'where there is a warm breeze' and Shemiran (shem/shemi= cool) so 'where there is a cool breeze' (those were the days). But we also know that Arians passed either like a breeze, like wind or like 'storm' through many places, so yes call all those places Iran if you like.     

The use of the word Farsi instead of Persian in describing the language has more to do with the fact that in the recent years more Persian speaking newcomers of different nationalities have been arriving in the west, who not only don't speak/read English well, but who also have had little opportunities for education in their country of origin.

Obviously when they have been asked what their language is their answer has been Farsi. In today's London, which is currently the most cosmopolitan city of the world, circa 300 languages are spoken. Unlike the French officials the British authorities have no problem accepting new words entering their language.

On the other hand the education system in UK is so that most people know very little about the fact that Persian poetry was a very influential literature during the late 19th Century Britain. This could be of course related to the fact that the British education authorities feel guilty about the British Empire era and apart from social issues of the 19th century Britain, most other achievements including the literature and its history during this period is ignored.

In fact it was through the efforts of the Indian intellectuals with the support of British scholars and interested individuals working for the Empire in India that the works of quite a few classical Persian Poets' were collected and printed for the first time in India before they were published in Iran. This was of course made possible by the fact that the official/court language in India used to be Persian and it took a while before English could be used by all.

* * *
For that Summer I was planning to go to Iran for the first time - after I had left three years earlier - during the uni holidays. A Mexican friend who had brought me a kitten many months earlier - Saba - made an offer to look after her while I was away. Another friend who was going to rent my room during the holidays offered to look after her as well.

I thought that would be less unsettling and traumatic for young Saba if she could remain around the same house, considering also the fact that she had made friends with the students upstairs. When I returned from Iran Saba had vanished.

All the people in both houses could not say exactly how it had happened. And there was a weird silence about it. Finally a few of them told me cautiously and with a nervous uncomfortable smile that not only Saba but also a few other cats in the area had been vanishing curiously and that this woman (the scientologist) is thought to have caught them and eaten them.

The kind of reluctance that was in these people's way of telling me this, and their caution in not really wanting to hurt me, with the brief mention of some people having seen her taking the cats - after I had expressed disbelief - forced me into silence. This news was so gruesome that I could not ask any further questions. Within a short time I moved out of that area. Saba was the third cat and the last one to live with me.

* * *

In ancient times when a pregnant woman in a field went to labour and gave birth, it was common practice for her to eat the placenta (afterbirth), which is rich in nutrition. This helped her to recover fast as well as recycle the nutrition through her breast milk benefiting her infant.

The eating of afterbirth is also practiced by many mammals for the nutritional value as well as the fact that it could attract predators if lying around. Today's women who have chosen to eat their placenta have reported faster recovery and an absence of postpartum depression.

* * *

I know that scientology in USA is particularly popular amongst the once upon a time frustrated stars who have managed with the help of their yuppie priests to (self) suggest or hypnotise themselves into becoming successful and rich (which is not really always the same).

I am writing this in a hurry to save Tom Cruise's child from a traumatic experience which could be seen as being on the verge of physical abuse. I mean if someone told me that my father had eaten my afterbirth I would be throwing up and would have never forgiven him (well I think so at least today).

If this placenta has to be eaten then only by the mother and this only if she intends to breast feed. Then everything would be fine as the infant would be the recipient of her/his natural nutritional right.

If Tom Cruise feels undernourished then I recommend supplements by other means, as beside the above mentioned issue the placenta contains female hormones that may lead to him having to breast feed his infant as well. There is nothing more irritating for a pregnant woman than a male partner who is more pregnant than herself.

And during the crucial time of labour the man should be acting either as a true helper with no self interest and personal expectations or wait outside the room and let other helpers to take over. He could also meditate and send good energy for the labouring mother if he is practiced enough in concentration.

It is such a disappointing experience for a woman in labour to see her man going into labour as well and in addition be even hurt if he is ignored while she is caught in the urgency of the waves and the uncompromising violent force of the nature.

And my goodness you are heading for a break up if you are putting already that pressure and expectation about giving birth in silence. So do you mean she has to be as quiet as you? What if she in the middle of the labour feels differently? Who do you think you are?
Talk to your mother, as your woman does not know the force yet.

And if your mum does not think eating your child's placenta would be a good idea for you, then please just listen to her and don't eat it!

And if you do end up eating the afterbirth of your child, then I will be at last certain that Saba was indeed eaten by a scientologist AND a khol-e khol and that both are one and the same.

* * *

PS. I just saw on BBC News website that your baby girl is born. Congratulation! But I hope the placenta is still in the fridge. It is really terrible when the newsagents are always behind the news rather than ahead of them.       

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To Vida Kashizadeh

Vida Kashizadeh




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