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Tuesday
May 22, 2001

Mr. Perfect is out there

Dear Azadeh,

I read your short article, "What have you to offer me?" and enjoyed it. At the end of your article you ask "Is it really better to be with an Iranian man?" Well, let me see if I can answer!

First, I am an Iranian man. I was born and raised in Iran with Iranian values and attributes. I have been living in the U.S. for about 19 years now, and am married to an American woman. Before I married my wife, I dated several Iranian women, and I can say that eight out of ten of them were not compatible with me.

My experience with Iranian women put a bitter taste in my mouth and I decided that I was not going to date Iranian women anymore. However, after the bitterness wore off and I came to my senses, I realized that my way of thinking was not so logical. I could not rule out all Iranian women because I had met eight that I did not find compatible. I decided to keep an open mind, and look for that special woman that I'd find myself most enriched with, no matter what her nationality, race, religion, etc...

To make a long story short, I dated more Iranian women, I dated women from Canada, Peru, Russia, France, Australia, Sweden, and the U.S., and decided to keep an open mind in evaluating their individuality. It just happened that I found myself closest in personality to the one who is an American. She has many many countless wonderful attributes that I could not find in any other women that I met, but that does not mean that all American women are good for Iranian men, and/or all Iranian women are not suitable for Iranian men. That would be a generalization, and we all know that all generalizations are false!

To answer your question "Is it really better to be with an Iranian man?" in my opinion, that is an invalid question. I am sure that there is a perfect Iranian man for you out there somewhere, but you may never even come close to meeting him, but given the opportunities that you have, the men that you meet with any background, you will have to choose one that best meets your standards and completes you.

As you said it very beautifully, we Iranians have our culture with us forever, no matter what. Enriching our cultures within ourselves is the key to a successful relationship. What's right is right, and what's wrong is wrong, no matter what the culture dictates. There are good attributes and not-so-good attributes in every culture, but choosing the good ones from each culture and combining them takes an open mind. Good luck with you and your Italian-Australian man!

Rasheed

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