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The last country
They want a country? This is the time

March 5, 1999
The Iranian

- You know, the U.N. has about 200 members now. Several states were created after the break-up of the Soviet Union and most-likely you're going to see Palestine as an independent country in a couple of years or so. But that's about it. You aren't going to see any new significant countries for many many years. Except for one. We will have our country too. The last country.

- You name if babe; it's yours. Mansouria... the Islamic Republic of Mansouria. Yeah!

- Cut it out. Kurdistan is what I want.

- Now THAT's going to be difficult...

- Why can't we have our own country?

- Who's "we"?

- My people. The Kurds.

- "Your" people? Your mom was only half-Kurdish. That gives you the right to only a quarter of Kurdistan. Sorry babe.

- What's wrong with creating a homeland for the Kurds?

- Ain't gonna happen...

- I mean this is the best time to do it. Thanks to that idiot Saddam, no one really cares what happens to Iraq. Just give the northern third to the Kurds.

- No can do...

- Look at the plus side: Once you set up a country for the Kurds, the separatist Kurdish movements in Turkey, Iran, Iraq and Syria will practically vanish. The Kurds will get what they've always wanted -- AND promised decades ago -- and the regional countries will get rid of the "Kurdish problem". So there. Give me my country.

- In other words you want to create another Israel. I think one is more than enough.

- What does that mean, "creating another Israel". That's nothing but a worn-out excuse to deny the Kurds their national aspirations. Goor-r baabaa-ye esraaeel. I don't care about Israel. I care about my people.

- "My people, my people"... What people? So what if the Kurds want a country. What about the other people? What about the Baluchis of Sistan and the Turkmans of Golestan -- that's a new Iranian province for your information -- and the Arabs of Khuzestan and the Turks of Azarbaijan and the Lurs of Luristan? You're going to give them a country too? Yeh dafe begoo esfooneeyaa ham vaaseh khodeshoon keshvar doros konan.

- Don't make an issue of a non-issue. The Turkmans and Baluchis and all the others are not seeking a country. So just put all that nonsense aside. I'm talking about a real problem here. The Kurds have always had a clear claim to statehood and they deserve it. And with Saddam being so weak and despised, this is the best time to do it. And I'm not touching Iran or any other country, just a part of northern Iraq. That's not asking for much.

- So let me get this straight. You are saying A) Because Saddam's regime has so little respect internationally and B) The Kurds are a problem in Turkey and Iran and wherever and C) The Kurds have wanted their own country for a long time, then D) Give them a country.

- Exactly.

- Beh hamin khiyaal baash.

- Haalaa bebin... I HATE you! (sulk)

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