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Middle East

Club Axis
Enrolling Syria in the world's most exclusive group

April 19, 2003
The Iranian

To: Dr. Bashar El-Assad
Syrian Arab Republic's President for life
Yousif al-Azmeh Square
Damascus, Syria

Dear Bashar,

I am very excited to give you a complimentary membership to the ever superlative Axis of Evil Benevolent Association. This club is a wonderful organization designed to teach rogue nations and evil empires about international affairs while at the same time, building life-long friendships.

I would understand your hesitation, but you have been recommended by honorable individuals, including Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz and Israeli Finance Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. That creepy-crawly Arafat also made a late call on your behalf .

This year holds many exciting events in store for club members, and in particular, for you. The American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) will be distributing documents shortly, proving without any misgiving that you have been importing aluminum tubes from Gabon. In addition, The New York Times will find the chap that sold you the tubes and interview his uncle, sooner or later. With any luck, this could potentially qualify you to be liberated soon.

Our club also has several events planned. In Mid July there will be a Karaoke Night in sunny Pyongyang. Last year, that scheming Saddam had all of the Britney Spears songs memorized. We will also have the pleasure of hearing fascinating speakers from several disciplines and walks of life at our weekly meetings, including the author of Healthy Dictatorship for Dummies, by the distinguished El Commandante Fidel Castro.

You will also meet an amazing group of hard-working, fun-loving individuals from France your former colonizer, who will become your best and probably only friend now.

I am really looking forward to meeting you and welcoming back all of our returning members. Sure, we will miss Saddam and his boys, but thanks to neo-conservative crusaders in D.C., this club has become bigger than one nation or one leader.

I look forward to seeing everyone at our next meeting.

Until then, Go Axis!
Richard Perle; Honorary World Order Architect

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