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Colorful missiles
Do the high command of the Iranian military truly believe
they can ward-off an American attack?
August 5, 2003
The Iranian
Kudos to the Equipment Purchasing Department
of the Iranian army. Last week they test fired a Shahab-3
ballistic missile which is based on the North Korean Nodong-1 missile
and improved with Russian technology.
Would anyone in his or her right mind buy an Iranian
refrigerator based on a North Korean model, then improved with
Russian technology?
I for one will opt to preserve my food with salt before submitting
to that dismal choice.
To top that, the Art Department (assuming there
is one), of the army has painted forest green camouflage motif
on some of these
incredible marvels of technology. How appropriate for a nation
that is 95% arid and desert-like.
The choice of coloring of these missiles
has more to do with artistic creativity I would assume, than the
genuine belief
that green camouflage will hide them from evil eyes. Credit must
be given nonetheless, since the exterior coating is probably
the only tangible Iranian contribution to the building of these
charming
missiles. The missiles, or for
that matter those fetid diesel fueled submarines marooned in
the Persian Gulf, are justified as
deterrents; but deterrents
to whom and to what? Do the high command of the Iranian military
truly believe they can ward-off an American attack?
Did anyone bother to watch CNN during the last
U.S-Iraq war in Tehran's military intelligence? Perhaps watching
MTV India is more absorbing. I for one do not blame them. Given
those options,
I would have long ago switched the channels to the more entrancing
Real World Calcutta as well.
The reality is this, ladies and gentlemen: Some
official, probably a well-connected import/export entrepreneur
(a bazaari, for a lack
of a better term) has found a niche in the insecurity psyche of
the Iranians after the war with Saddam and is exploiting it ever
since. Tactically useless missiles are purchased, dissembled,
air-shipped, reassembled, and finally painted by the aspiring young
artist of
the army.
Then 15% to 20% commission is stashed away in some
bank account in Geneva, and voila! …we have a homegrown missile
technology industry which, with a bit of luck, should make the
American overlords of Afghanistan and Iraq quiver in fear before
dreaming of any other wars of liberation north of the Persian Gulf.
In related news, having scrutinized the self-indulgent
declarations of Israeli government on this subject. The government
of Papua
New Guinea has decided that, guess what, they too feel very threatened
by the range of these missile and will inform their American
friends of their concerns. Financial aid will naturally be requested
in
case those unprincipled Iranians become malevolent with their
rainforest inspired colorful missiles.
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