Not too shaby
Demise of numerous tasteless archenemies
Iranians are not known for geo-political foresight
or preemptive diplomacy. Let’s face it, exporting heavy-hearted
movies and pistachios are just about the only forte of this long
forgotten and timid civilization these days. Envisaging the demise
of their numerous tasteless archenemies and justice for the subjugated
is hardly their specialty.
Yet that is precisely what is happening. Some may
debate the details, but lets look at the specifics:
* ‘Its a second Qadissiya,’
said Saddam in 1980, invaded and gassed Iran. Now the U.S. has Mother-of-all-Bombed
his regime to oblivion and liberated Karbala and Najaf.
* ‘All Shia's are heretics,’ the Taliban
said, and started killing the Hezaras, then the U.S. Special Forces
chased away the ever-colorful Mullah Omar and his Wahhabi gang on
donkeys out of Khandehar. As a bonus, Marshal Fahim is to look over
things now, although the title Marshal is a somewhat of a stretch.
* ‘Palestine should be free,’ the Iranians
demanded single-mindedly; and voila, George W. Bush just published
a well-timed Road Map. Granted by the time Sharon’s rogue
regime is done with it, that vision would be more like that of apartheid’s
* ‘The Persian Gulf should be secure’
was suggested, and now we have five American Aircraft carriers patrolling
the waters ensuring free flow of oil.
I can envision Foreign Minister Kamal Kharazi telling
himself ‘not too shabby…’ while puffing away on
a Hoyo De Monterrey Cuban Cigar and playing with his turquoise prayer
beads. Surely, he must have his grievances with those neo-conservatives
in DC designating his superiors as the next target of opportunity
or with that quirky Russian nuclear reactor at Bushehr; which the
Americans will sooner or later take out. But by and large he must
be a happy man.
So cheerful he must be that he is probably working
on the draft version of his next wish-list for other world events.
These potentially could include:
1) The exile of the Mujahedin agitators from Iraq
to the Bikini Atoll in the Marshall Islands. For good measure, lets
have their ringleaders sent to the sun-drenched Guantanamo Bay;
they will definitely enjoy the Mojitos.
2) That mischievous Hezbullah crew in Lebanon is undoubtedly
bad PR and makes the homegrown conservative antagonists in Iran
look like Swiss Boy Scouts. A peace deal between Israel and Syria
should put an end to them with no cost to us.
3) Remember who cuddled up to Saddam in 1980? That
nuisance Arafat. So an unintentional ‘oops’ shooting
(to death) by the Israelis may be welcomed.
4) Oh and please... please - some accidental sinking
of those stinking diesel-fueled submarines the Russians short-changed
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