 To be willing
To me Edward Said was the conscience
of all humanity
By Sara Darcy
October 6, 2003
The Iranian
I sat down at my desk, last Friday afternoon to
relax
at the end of a hectic week and enjoy a few moments of
web browsing in solitude. To get my weekly dose of
Iranian-ness, I went to the iranian.com website, and
there were those ghastly three words, on the small
link on the top of the page. Edward
Said: Obituary.
I felt like
I'd been punched in the stomach. I sat there for a long time,
hand over my mouth in horror,
tears welling in my eyes, and felt myself go numb. It
took me a long time to click on the link, and a week
later, I'm still waiting to feel the full effect of
this news. I met Edward Said, about ten years ago when he
came to Madison to give a lecture. I had been cajoled by my
Arab boyfriend H to attend his lecture that night. Back then,
I had never heard of Said and wasn't quite thrilled about having
to go to a long lecture at the
end of an already long day.
Looking back, although H
hasn't been a part of my life for 8 years, I have been
and will be forever grateful to him for making me go. I sat
on a hard wooden seat in a large lecture hall,
at 8 pm, quite cold, slightly hungry, and a bit tired,
waiting for Prof. Said. He strode into the hall, took
his place at the podium, and changed my life forever.
I sat there, throughout his entire lecture, with
my heart pounding and my brain reeling, listening in awe
to the words of this great man. It was as if the
light had been turned on and the world finally made
sense. This elegant, passionate, eloquent, charming
man was able to invoke a thirst for knowledge, for
justice and for humanity in me, which I hope will
never be fully quenched.
Over the years, I tried to read as many articles
and books by him as possible. The more I read, the more
enamored I became of this great man, and the more I
wished to be like him. To be willing to fight so
passionately for justice, to convey your message with
so much grace and eloquence and wit, to be so human
and fragile and yet such a tower of strength, was
truly captivating.
For ten years, Edward Said set the
path, and I tried to follow in my flawed and somewhat
unsuccessful way. His compassion helped me develop
mine, his courage made me feel less afraid, and his
insight helped me through the rough patches of life.
It's easy to fight when you have nothing to lose.
It's easy to struggle when there's no way out.
To fight, to struggle, to stand up when you have
everything to lose is the ultimate humanity. To be
willing to stand up for the oppressed, when you
yourself come from a world of privilege is a mark of a
great human. To be willing to put yourself and your
reputation on the line, to be willing to stand up for
an unpopular cause, to become the target of hateful
ignorance, and still stand tall and be a warrior for
justice is most admirable. To be willing to look
within yourself, your cause, your comrades and be
willing to scrutinize and criticize internal
weaknesses as well as external ones, can only show the
deep commitment to truth.
Edward Said was once
described as the 'Conscience of Palestine'. To me, it
seems that he was the conscience of all humanity. He was the
ultimate champion for truth, justice, humanity and peace. There
has been
much
written about him in the last week, thousands of
eulogies, remembrances, and expressions of grief. No
one seems to be able to fully express the sense of
loneliness, emptiness, and grief that his death has
left behind. However, maybe the words Ahdaf Soueif,
come close to describing the feeling. 'We are
orphaned.'
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To be willing