God bless the best
I think very highly of this capitalist superpower,
By Nima Bina
July 1, 2004
Awright, hear me out: I watched and LOVED Michael Moore's
movie, I tend to vote Democratic, and I think Bush is ruining this
great country of America. Yet I hang out with rednecks all the
time here in The South, ride around in pickup trucks, and think
Oklahoma would have beaten USC in College Football.
its many shortcomings, I think very highly of this capitalist superpower.
continues to make a BIG mistake. I've lived in the States, Iran,
and Europe. And contrary to what people say, I strongly
believe that the real Great Satan is in fact not the US, but the
Europeans. Quoting Iran's first ambassador to the US in
the 1890s: "The Americans are actually closer to God than
we are". Here's my argument:
1. Who has fucked Iran the most? No, seriously. Didn't
the Brits mediate the tragic Golestan and Turkemanchay treaties?
Funny how Nezami Ganjavi is today the national poet of the "Republic
of Azerbaijan". (I'm an Azeri from my father's side
btw). Same goes for Herat. And it was the Brits, not the Americans,
that initiated Ajax. Right? The Brits are weasels that would even
stab Americans in the back if they could. And it was the Brits
that carved out Iraq and the whole fuckin "Middle East" in
the first place.
Question: What would the world be like if The Brits were the sole
superpower today? Answer: Iran would probably be in 23 pieces.
2. Then come the Russians, truly oghdeh'ee imperialists. They're
still at it, shamelessly trying to steal The Caspian, and playing
Iran in Bushehr. Miras Farhangi should register the power plant
as a National Heritage when finished, its so fucking old. Thank
God the Soviets crumbled to their doom. While Americans died in
Tabriz supporting Sattar-Khan, the Russians set out on raping escapades,
depositing our treasures at St Petersburg, and replacing Persian
language with Russian in Central Asia.
Question: What would the world be like if the Russians were where
The US sits now? Ask how the "blacks" of Russia (AKA
Chechniyans) are faring today.
3. Do you think Europe really cares about Iran when defending
their "critical dialogue" policies with Iran against
the US? What a farce. If you get stuck in Amsterdam for the night
because KLM screwed up your connecting flights (as they frequently
do), chances are you may have run into or at least observed some
unpleasant confrontation with the customs agents at Schipol Airport.
It's happened to me twice. I can never forget the image
of the young customs agents yelling at elderly respectable Iranians
who did not have a US passport, talking to them in an insulting
way, and treating them like scum. As if The Netherlands was about
to admit a new group of third world asylum seekers, further crowding
up their country with more and more "black-heads".
Now that pissed me off. Shit, even the Americans took down those "Aliens" signs in
Question: What do you get when Europeans become a superpower?
Answer: Hitler, Stalin, Lenin, colonialism, racism, ad infinitum.
even racism here in the US has its roots with the Europeans.
4. I am so tired of reading the ubiquitous bitchings on this
website written by ungrateful Iranian Americans. (example: "Worse
than blacks" by Ahmagh Khan). This administration
has by far been one of the worst America has ever seen. But they
the power vacuum created by lame-ass democrats. We all owe this
country BIG TIME.
I always remember that there are thousands
of better and more qualified people than me in Iran dreaming of
going to college here, and having my fair chance of going to Harvard
for a PhD, while still working for Dominos Pizza. This is the only
country in the world where you can start from shit and climb your
way up to success. It all depends on one's orzeh.
Question: What would the world be like, if Europeans had control
over everything? Jews couldn't wear yarmulkes, Muslims couldn't
wear scarves to school, Mormons couldn't wear their thingies
under their clothes, and you probably couldn't even wear
a beard, no matter what shit you believed in.
5. You think you're being discriminated against? Well
fight it! Get involved. Change your world. Remember that everybody
here is an immigrant, and ignorant people are everywhere to be
found. I always challenge my local rednecks by knowing more about
the laws of the land than they do. Know the laws of your land,
and vigorously apply them to your needs.
In which fuckin country
can you actually meet your Representative in Congress and tell
him what you think in person? I gave my Representative a stone
replica of a winged bull from Persepolis that I bought in Iran.
I am happy to announce that I've had influences on his recent
perspectives on Iran. We owe this country BIG TIME. We owe it to
ourselves, and to the motherland of Iran. How? By helping America
becoming a better place for all future generations.
Conclusion 1: "Dast baalaaye dast besyaar ast" (Persian proverb:
"There is a power higher than each and every power")
So, in the current
world (where decent people rarely have a chance of leading the
which one would you rather have? George W
and hypocritical conservatives? A system in which you can at least
voice your opposition against the Patriot Act, or the War, or
whatever? Or would you rather have racist Europeans that rain hell
on earth every time they gain supremacy on the planet?
the God, these Europeans don't give a rats ass about human
rights, the environment, the third world, or Iran. The only fuckin
reason they do what they do is to piss off "the arrogant
Americans." Oh yes, it's hard to have somebody better
than yourself, especially after centuries of setting up colonies
so big the sun never sets in them. Kinda shits on your ego.
Fuck, you can't even get free refills anywhere in Europe
like I do here in Captain D's or Burger King. Capitalism
fuckin works! It can even be tailored to fit an Islamic model.
That's what Haddad Adel (my former highschool teacher) really
meant by referring to an "Islamic Japan" as an economic
model. He would have to swallow a lot of pride to say "Eslam
A civilization is measured by the number of
libraries, universities, great cities, and centers of culture
it harbors. Khoda-vakili the US stands unchallenged on top of the
world on this one. The undisputed champion for decades to come.
2: This is one helluva country
All you have to do to see this reality
is to pull your head out of the media's ass and its sorry negative
showers of BS, and take a look around: The numerous excellent universities,
the endless opportunities, The Supreme Court, The Legal System,
the staggering variety, the diversity, the great highways, the
great wilderness, the accomplishments, the feeling of being free,
the architecture, even things like Judge Hatchett, Jay Leno, the
great centers of civilization like LA, NY, Atlanta, Seattle, Austin,
Boston, MoTown and their Pistons, Rasheed Wallace, Tiger Woods,
Andre Agassi, Donny Hathaway, James Brown, The O'Jays, K-Mart,
Walmart, ... I can literally go on forever.
There is a reason
this country is excelling in its powers. There is a reason this
country is a superpower. There is a reason this
country is blessed. Prophet Mohammed once said: "Persians
will reach for the heavens to seek knowledge." Shit almighty,
if this Union of 50 sovereign States ain't the heaven of knowledge,
where else can it be?
Having America as a close friend is in
the supreme interests of Iran, whether Islamic or not. Period.
May wise heads prevail in Iran, and may this land continue to be