Being straight with queers
Let us stop hating homosexuals

By Golnar Shirazi
March 3, 2004
iranian.com

I watch all these happy gay people getting married on national television and it makes me wonder what Tony must be saying to all this. Tony is an aging and sometimes charming mostly annoying musician who can belt out love songs like no one else with his deep tenor-baritone voice. He is the picture of "Machismo", someone that can charm when he is performing, but can also offend when he is not, due to his long term love affair with alcohol.

Tony is wired to hit on anyone who is female and sitting within 100 yards of him. If they reject him, he ends up mumbling something about the "Lesbian Mafia" and before you know it, tall tales of adventures with the "Lesbian Mafia" and "how they almost got him" fill the rest of his drunken evening. 

Well, it looks like the "Lesbian & Gay Mafia" is out in full force and Rosie O'Donnell getting married to her long time partner, has been selected the "God Mother" of them all. This can be called "Gonad Gate" or "Gay Gate", right around the corner from Janet Jackson's "Boob Gate". 

From the looks of it, most of the people I see getting married in San Francisco, are long term partners who may have kids and are doing the best they can to honor their commitment to each other and to their family. In fact, it was nice to see these folks out in full force, since they are usually not that visible in the community.

They stay home and take care of their kids, just like all parents are supposed to. They are breaking the stereotypes of the gay lifestyle of techno music, dancing, HIV, sex sex sex, and bath houses, and showing the reality of their love and commitment for each other. I am happy to see this image change, live on national television.

Most gay people I know are hard working, ambitious, and may have gone to a club a few times, but then, who hasn't? They are intelligent, beautiful, and are paving the road for future generations to have an easier time when it comes to choice. And yes, some of people who got married in SF were of Iranian descent. Good for them.

There are so many more devastating things going on in the world right now than this. Bush's war cry against gay marriage is such a desperate act to cover up the mockery he has made of the budget and the planet. It is like the film "Wag the Dog" but its more like "Wag the Gay".

Maybe it's just about taxes since gay couples end up paying more than straight married couples since they cannot file jointly. Yes, I'm sure the deficit will grow if they file jointly, and then who will pay for all the wars? Or is it about God and his doctrine that love is only for those with different gonads to ensure the reproduction of the species. 6 billion people, most of them starving and dying due to wars and to disease is not enough, so God wants us to breed even more?

Gay folks can have children too, better yet, and I'm sure a number of them would be more than happy to adopt underprivileged children who need caring families. Religion has been such a great tool to inflict suffering since its very inception.

Let us stop using God as an excuse to hate. Love is supposed to be unconditional, isn't it? Then it must be decency? Yes, straight people have been a picture of decency for millenium. Why can't we just let people be? The universe is just too large to be confined in the small minds of humans. There is more than one way to be.

The Iranian community has seen its fair share of this as well. There is an intense pressure to get married by the family and social network. After a couple of years of going through the motions, a good number of these marriages end up in divorce, and the broken up couple ends up breathing more easily because they "were married and are now divorced".

The duty was obliged, thank you very much, now its time to live the life they have wanted to live. I am willing to bet that some of these divorces were because one of the betrothed was gay, and the martyrdom complex and the desire to get their family off their backs, made them choose lives they never really wanted. 

Queer culture in the Iranian community is another story for another time perhaps. But its there and its time for this dialogue to really develop.

Of course there are many hetero marriages that are loving and wonderful and I am not demeaning any loving relationship, but, right now, the queer community in the U.S, who has been fighting for this day, are really appreciating the fine details of the meaning behind the institution of marriage. They can now be at their partner's side at the hospital and make life and death decisions for them, a right they did not have before. Its good to see people win such battles. America has some really amazing moments, and this is one of them.

Perhaps one day, no parent will even blink at the thought of their gay child's wedding. Love would be honored for being just that. Perhaps that is the day when the differences in humanity can be celebrated.

.................... Peef Paff spam!

* Send this page to your friends