Getting it straight
Life & politics

Hamid Boroumand
May 12, 2005
iranian.com

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So Let Me Get This Straight....
Dear editor salam,

So let me get this straight...if my son - following in my footsteps - loots the National Iranian Oil Company, or if I beat up and hurl a bunch of university students off their dormitory roofs all while I shout religious slogans...then I get moved to the top of the list of Iranian presidential candidates?!?!? Very very very strange this Iranian politics.

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Coffee?
Dear editor salam,

Have you ever given any thought as to whom you would like to sit down and have a cup of coffee and a chat with if access/availability were not an issue? The first handful of personalities (famous and not so famous) that immediately came to my mind were (not in order of preference):

1. Nelson Mandela
2. Warren Buffet
3. Stephen Hawkings
4. Bill Gates
5. Ali Sistani
6. Harrison Ford
7. Pegah Haidari

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Pharaoh or President?
Dear editor salam,

Hosni Mubarak: Pharaoh or President?

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Sponge Bob Square Pants
Dear editor salam,

Listen everybody, if an entire enterprise/culture can be developed around a creation/phenomenon like Sponge Bob Square Pants, then even the most hopeless/hapless among us have a chance to become a raging success in this society!

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Who Will Win This Race?
Dear editor salam,

Who will win this race to justice?:

Will Iran, the country of my birth, finally acknowledge the injustice it has wreaked on my family, instead of hiding behind lies and flawed judicial rulings, and take concrete action to make us whole?

OR

Will the United States of America, my adopted country, finally find the courage to stop hiding behind the injustices of the Algiers Accords, and take concrete action to make us whole?

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Thank you for your business
Dear editor salam,

Just a quick word of thanks to the following individual/company for sending their floor coverings replacement (and we also do painting) work to my company:

Mr. Mahyar Haghighi
Laguna Digital, Inc. (A Printing Company)
8935 Research Drive (off the 5 Freeway and Bake Parkway.)
Irvine, CA

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand
Landmark Improvement Resources Group, License# 679317.
11562 Knott Street, #13
Garden Grove, CA 92841
Tel: (714) 799-7450

Could GM Be Taken Private?
Dear editor salam,

I would not be surprised if a consortium of private equity investors and investment companies, sitting on huge amounts of cash, decided to take GM private. They would restructure the company, whittle costs, sell-off assets unrelated to the core auto business, and subsequently take the company public again in a number of years realizing some astronomic return on their initial investment.

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Iraqi Defense Minister Candidate: A Thought
Dear editor salam,

An  Iraqi-American acquaintance of mine named Al-Marayati once told me about about 15 years ago that he had a relative who was an officer in the Iraqi military who was doing time in the brig because he didn't much care for Saddam Hussein...if that officer is still alive and interested and qualified, he might be a candidate to consider for the Defense Minister portfolio.

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Oldest Political Hat-Trick Or Wiley E. Politician
Dear editor salam,

For all those novices to the field of political chicanery, the oldest political hat-trick in the book is and remains: when in a bind, create a distraction by flaring up or prolonging a crisis. Just look around you in today's world and observe the crises created by politicians universally to extend their longevity.

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Should I File A Lawsuit Against RealNetworks?
Dear editor salam,

Should I file a lawsuit against RealNetworks (RNWK) for what I perceive to be fraud and a violation of a settlement agreement I had with Yack.com? After all, if it LOOKS like a duck, WALKS like a duck, and QUACKS like a duck there is a strong likelihood that it IS a duck (I am referring what might be termed a surreptitious sale of Yack.com- or its intellectual capital- to RealNetworks as evidenced by RealNetwork's RealGuide and Helix features, and their distinct similarity to what was either developed or under development at Yack.com prior to that company's demise.)

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Lightening Some Positions
Dear editor salam,

The Iranian portfolio is lightening its position in two holdings: CGTVF which was entered into about a month ago at $1.42 is being disposed of at $3.15, ELN which was entered into a little over a month ago at $3.24 is being disposed of at $6.71. Having said this no one should invest in anything without first consulting their attorney, accountant, financial adviser, etc.

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Sura Al-Nisa (4) Aya 93: Suicide Bombers Beware
Dear editor salam,

In view of the recent spate of suicide bombings in Iraq, the victims of which have been mainly both Muslim government personnel and Muslim non-government civilians, one can look to the Qur'an and read in Sura Al-Nisa (4) Aya 93: "If a man kills a believer intentionally, his recompense is Hell to abide therein forever, and the wrath and curse of God are upon him and a dreadful penalty is prepared for him." (The same fate that awaits both the perpetrators and killers behind the assassination of my uncle Dr. Abdolrahman Boroumand and others.)

Certainly no talk of Paradise and 72 virgins for companions here.

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Apothecary
Dear editor salam,

Could you help me find some of that bitter poison (obviously not as potent as the variety that was slipped into Sayed Ahmad's giivehs), the consumption of which could boost my chances of "reluctantly" becoming the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, being elected a U.S. Senator, marrying a trophy wife, and a making a billion dollar fortune?

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

You Got To Be Here
Majid agha salam,

The weather and beach (and babes) are looking great here once again...Majid you definitely should look into getting a job at Pimco and transferring here...you don't know what you are missing!

Hamid Boroumand

More Referendum
Dear editor salam,

Lets add the issue of a "yes or no" on a moratorium on uranium enrichment on the same proposed referendum of a "yes or no" on the regime's governance. Since the citizenry has to deal with the consequences, the citizenry should make the choice.

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Adding To Our Positions
Dear editor salam,

The Iranian portfolio is taking advantage of this market malaise/meltdown to add to its positions in DRIV, EBAY, MATK, PKZ, TSRA, SFCC. The companies are as compelling as they were when the Iranian portfolio initially took its positions in them. Having said this, no one should invest in anything without first consulting with their attorney, accountant, financial adviser, etc.

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

History
Dear editor salam,

I thought I would share an interesting bit of history with you readers: this is not the first time that Iraq has been over-run in the past century (at least not the first time it has been over-run by the British.) If I am not mistaken, sometime in the 1920's-after the dismantling of the Ottoman Empire-the British attempted to colonize Iraq and promptly retreated with thousands of casualties after receiving a sound drubbing at the hands of a collection of mujahids of that time and era. Much to the contrary of the wide publicity received by British saboteur and spy Lawrence of Arabia for his mischief in forcing the Ottomans from what is currently Saudi Arabia, little press has been given to Mohammad Karim Khan Boroumand (nom de guerre: Salar Khan) who in the 1920's equipped and led 300 "savars" (horsemen) from his village of Gaz, near Esfahan, to Iraq to participate in the anti-imperialist struggle and become the scourge of the British in that land.

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

Happiness
Dear editor salam,

What is happiness?

Va salam,
Hamid Boroumand

Loan Sharking
Dear editor salam,

Congress recently passed legislation tightening the conditions under which individuals could file for bankruptcy and requiring at least some measure of repayment to creditors. The logic was that a reduction of risk to creditors would reduce the cost of borrowing to individuals across the board. Maybe I am being cynical, but for some reason I don't think there has been a rush on the part of the loan shark (oops! I meant credit card) companies to reduce their exorbitant rates ranging anywhere from 18-23% per annum.

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand

For You Lawyers Out There
Dear editor salam,

How about a challenging legal question for all you Iranian-American lawyers out there:

I helped fund the start-up of a now defunct dot-com called Yack.com in 1997 which seems to have fully disappeared by 2004. Interestingly, a subsequent (famous) financier who also poured capital into Yack.com had also financed the start-up of RealNetworks (RNWK.) Now, much of what constituted the content/make-up of Yack.com can be found on RealNetworks (these were non-existent on that site previous to Yack.com's demise.) Can I fairly assume that all or most of the shareholders of the now defunct Yack.com had the intellectual capital of their investment transferred to RealNetworks without being compensated for it? Does this constitute a surreptitious sale?

Va salam,

Hamid Boroumand