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Zood baash digeh!
Men who do "too little too late" to woo their women



Sophie Saviour
September 13, 2006

Here is another type of Iranian man, loser! Does anyone know what this loser is looking for? Here is my story: I heard the phrase "if you don't use it, you lose it" way before I heard "too little, too late", but I found that the latter has the same, if not more, value as the former.

What's wrong with guys on the West Coast (or perhaps the whole of North America ??... I am not sure as I haven't dated all of them yet!) that they don't recognize when the time is right, or the fact that they should make an effort or make a "move" sometimes! They normally do it when it's too late and the girl is already frustrated. Well, of course if they still do it properly, there is a chance! But no way! They do too little too late. That combination is deadly; like "nooshdAroo ba'd az marge SohrAb."

I used to go out with this Canadian guy (born and raised in Canada vs. me, being born and raised in Iran and moved here after 30!), and it happened! We met in a professional program at the university and somehow everything clicked. It was interesting for me to feel that I could connect with someone from a different culture and still stay in my comfort zone. Of course, there were differences, like hygiene and stuff. But I thought I could teach him some. He was kind of tight though, for example, he, with his high income (twice that of mine), was annoying whenever we were going to a restaurant. He always delayed paying his share until I offered to pay.

Yeah, I guess it was my fault to offer but I couldn't tolerate waiting for him to find his money. Anyway, except for a couple of times, we always paid separately or I paid for both. Of course, considering what a good cook I am,  (I cooked for him every time he came to my place) it was not really fair! Well, to be totally fair, he did cook a couple of times for me as well.

All that being said; I ended the relationship when he told me that he had met one of his old school sweethearts and was analyzing his feelings for her. And guess what, he told me all that after eating a nice meal I prepared, at my place, when we were going to make love! Needless to say, I asked him to leave.

He tried hard after that; buying me extravagant bouquets of flowers, waiting for me on my way to work, sending me emails, snail mail, cards, etc. But it was too little too late! Especially when I hate ostentatious bouquets of flowers but rather prefer small but chic arrangements!

The result: I have decided I am going to meet only Iranian guys from now on. At least I don't need to teach them the ingredients for "ghorme sabzi", or how to clean their own body (hopefully their mothers have thought them already!).

I did some internet dating through and boy... was it an interesting experience or what??? I am going to write a book about my amazing adventures in that area! But for now I will focus on my latest experience with my new Iranian friend. Unfortunately it is the story of "too little too late" once again!  

I first heard his name long time ago, from a bunch of girls I met through a girl friend in a B-Day party. After they figured out that I was from Iran, they suggested that I meet Mr. R. as they found both of us nice, as well as being attractive enough to be together. Let's say being from the same country adds to the mix. From what I heard, I was really interested to meet Mr. R. but decided to leave it to fate and find out if the universe wants me to meet him or not! (A long time ago I learned not to push for anything!)

Anyway, I guess fate wanted it as I met one of those girls two years later by accident and decided to get together with the whole group again. Mr. R. was not present but this time the group (boys and girls) decided to make the connection. Of course, I asked them to take it easy and don't talk about me with this guy (so as not to scare him). Well, when a guy is over 40 and still single, perhaps he is afraid of being cornered; and when asking him about a girl, he may give comments that he normally wouldn't! It was a wise decision.

This was based on my experiences with "un-decided", "un-certain", and "kinda lost" minds who don't know what they really need (it can be different from what they want!). They have the need of being with a partner but there are "things" in the way of their falling for someone. Especially if they have been burned with an ex-wife or ex-common law, and the burden of paying for them for quite a long time!

We were invited to a dinner with Mr. R., and as it turned out, I was attracted to the guy. He wasn't Brad Pitt or anything but was nice enough with a spark in his shy eyes. Otherwise, he was similar to most middle aged Iranian guys -- short and balding! But his quiet and sporty attitude made him somehow cute, which is what I like in a man, as I can do all the talking myself! (As you can see, I am honest... ;-)

Well, the dinner night went well and we met in a group for a couple of other times, which was fun and interesting. I felt that he was interested as well. We met alone for another couple of times and all went well. We were hanging out, doing sports activities, cooking and drinking together and some cuddling. (Which of course, I was the one to start but he liked to go on!)

Naturally, I didn't want to push for more than that, and guess what, he didn't either.

Soon after that he started traveling for business and family reasons. He definitely follows the "Wayne 's World" dating methodology though (which I have learned about while watching the movie to understand the NA culture of dating!). If I send him an email, he waits for at least 2 or 3 days before he replies. The reason: he just reviews his emails every night and answers only what he considers to be the important emails!!! Cool, eh??

Oh, and another thing is that he is constantly busy with a countless number of friends who come to visit him or he goes to visit. Perhaps he is not involved with any of them (well, who really knows?), but what the heck, he seems to be too busy to make a move in this direction. You may wonder if he is gay. But no, he isn't. I've checked a few facts about him with my gay friends already and according to them, he is not gay! They believe he is is in the Meterosexual category!

I am still confused after all our nice times together -- what is this guy thinking? It is getting frustrating and I am afraid I may lose interest in him and when he comes back to me, my response will be "too little too late".

Someone should tell the guy that this train may be leaving the station, eh! Comment


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