Archive Sections: letters | music | index | features | photos | arts/lit | satire Find Iranian singles today!
iranian.com

Birthday letters
A tribute

 

July 28, 2005
iranian.com

Deluded
Dear Iranian.com,

I am writing to congratulate on your 10th birthday. I hope that in 10 years time you will be based in a free and democratic Iran with me as king.

Reza Pahlavi

Charming
Dear Mr Javid,

I hate you you fuck. Fuck you and your 10 years with your shitty site. Fuck off.

Arya Aryanejad

Khol
Dear Iranian.com

Happy birthday. In 1971 we had an Iranian student staying in our town who could impersonate a Heidelberg printing press. His name was Javad Javadzadeh. I wondered if you know where he is? Javad, if you're reading this: "Chug-chugbrrrrmphfff!"

Andrea Schmidt
Heidelberg, Germany

Ay baba
Dear readers,

I am writing to thank Iranian.com for entertaining me over the years, making me cry, look at the sky and see a reflection of petals which fall upon the heart of my motherland like a soul who has lost a boot.

Maryam Ashofteh
Wisconsin

From India
Dear Iranian.com,

Happying of the birthday. We are very much loving your site. Yes.

Cyrus Parsiwala
Mumbai

Sure....
Dear Iranian.com and esteemed readers,

I wish you a happy birthday. Please give all your money to the Encyclopedia Iranica.

Ehsan Barshutter
New York

Ay baba II
Mr Javid,

I forgot in my previous e-mail, carried as I was by the winds of my poetic soul to wish your daughter a happy birthday.

Maryam Ashofteh
Wisconsin

Medication anyone?
The great kings of Persia salute thee O Javid,

Thy site has greatly benefited from our civilization and vice versa. In compliance with the decrees of Cyrus, I wish thee a birthday of happiness. Nice work. Keep it up. But kill a few of those communists and the disgusting weak-minds who oppose the reign of George Bush. I salute thee and may they build thee a tomb with an inscription.

King Slater Bakhlava
Sweden

Easy now
Dear Iranian.com

Why are you not throwing a big party and charging big money for it in the name of Iranian culture? What kind of use are you. Honestly I hate Iranians. They make me sick. And don't think you're any different, they just can't do anything right. Don't tell me it's out of respect for that skinny hunger-striker. I hate you and I hate my culture.

Parvaneh Kheyng
Toronto

Frank
Salaam,

Jomhuriyeh Eslami bayad goh bokhoreh bemeereh. Thanks.

Hossein Hosseini-joon
Rasti tavalodetoon mobarak.

Akhaaaaay
Dear Iranian.com,

Happy birthday. I am a single man and I have not had a single response on the singles site advertised on your website. Is it something I wrote? I am a civil engineer in Reykjavik. For the first three years here I was very cold. The next three I learned to spell the name of the city. So you can see I have not had much chance to date. It's tough. This bastard Khomeini came and we were catapulted to all corners of the globe. Luckily you are in Berkeley. I am in Iceland.

Sardameh.

Dr Peyman Yakhbandoon
Yakhchal

Read between the lines
Dear Iranian.com,

My girlfriend is Iranian and I thought I would impress her by becoming familiar with your culture. I love that crispy rice dish you have. Her mother cooks it. Also her sister is pretty cute. I wondered if anybody would like to communicate with me regarding the concept of "kos khol". The other night my wife's cousin Farshid explained to me that it is an ancient form of flattery. This pleased me enormously but I wondered if any word-experts out there could tell me what it means and its history so I can impress my wife.

Theo W. Johnson, Jr.
San Francisco

Tried up a tree?
Dear Mr JJ,

My name is Mary Berg and I live in Conneticut. I owned a Persian cat which I have lost and I wondered if it might be reading this. It responds to the name Nectarin or Nikky. Come home to mama nikky.

Mary Berg
Conneticut

Good idea
Dear Shahjahan,

Please accept my warmest felicitations and my most sincere infidelities. I hope that your are well and that we of the inclination to speak English will continue to do so and help culture to be better like Kamal Ataturk. Let's spoke English.
Tanks.

Jamal Jeronimo
Texas

Mr Presidnet
Dear Mr Javid,

I know you are busy. I know Mr Ganji is not well. But please celebrate your site's 10th birthday. Yes iranian.com is banned in Iran, hopefully it won't be in 10 years when Khatami will be in power again I am sure. He is a good man. We must be patient.

Mohammad Khatami
Tehran

Reminder
Dear Mr Javid,

Didn't I tell you to fuck off? Now fuck off already.

Arya Aryanejad
New York City

Land of The FREE
Hi,

Thanks for helping me come to terms with my identity over the years. I am now Japanese. Happy birthday!

Mushi Shushi, formerly Shushi Mushi
Tokyo

Akbar Ganji
Dear readers,

I assume Jahanshah Javid is not celebrating iranian.com's 10th anniversary because it would not be appropriate to do so while journalist Akbar Ganji is approaching death for the founding principles of Iranian.com itself: freedom of speech and opposition to the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Peyvand Khorsandi

COMMENT
For letters section
To Peyvand Khorsandi

ALSO
Peyvand Khorsandi
Features

Jahanshah Javid
Features

RELATED
Opinion

Satire

Book of the day
mage.com

My Uncle, Napoleon
A Comic Novel
by Iraj Pezeshkad
translated by Dick Davis
>>> Excerpt

Copyright 1995-2013, Iranian LLC.   |    User Agreement and Privacy Policy   |    Rights and Permissions