Birthday letters
A tribute
July 28, 2005
iranian.com
Deluded
Dear Iranian.com,
I am writing to congratulate on your 10th birthday.
I hope that in 10 years time you will be based in a free and democratic
Iran
with me as king.
Reza Pahlavi
Charming
Dear Mr Javid,
I hate you you fuck. Fuck you and your 10 years
with your shitty site. Fuck off.
Arya Aryanejad
Khol
Dear Iranian.com
Happy birthday. In 1971 we had an Iranian student
staying in our town who could impersonate a Heidelberg printing
press. His name
was Javad Javadzadeh. I wondered if you know where he is? Javad,
if you're reading this: "Chug-chugbrrrrmphfff!"
Andrea Schmidt
Heidelberg, Germany
Ay baba
Dear readers,
I am writing to thank Iranian.com for entertaining me over the
years, making me cry, look at the sky and see a reflection of
petals which fall upon the heart of my motherland like a soul
who has lost a boot.
Maryam Ashofteh
Wisconsin
From India
Dear Iranian.com,
Happying of the birthday. We are very much loving
your site. Yes. Cyrus Parsiwala
Mumbai
Sure....
Dear Iranian.com and esteemed readers,
I wish you a happy birthday. Please give all your money to the
Encyclopedia Iranica.
Ehsan Barshutter
New York
Ay baba II
Mr Javid,
I forgot in my previous e-mail, carried as I was by the
winds of my poetic soul to wish your
daughter a happy
birthday.
Maryam Ashofteh
Wisconsin
 Medication anyone?
The great kings of Persia salute thee O Javid,
Thy site
has greatly benefited from our civilization
and vice versa. In
compliance with the decrees of Cyrus, I wish
thee a birthday of happiness.
Nice work. Keep it up. But kill a few of those
communists and the disgusting weak-minds who oppose the
reign of George Bush.
I salute thee and may they build thee a tomb
with an inscription.
King Slater Bakhlava
Sweden
Easy now
Dear Iranian.com
Why are you not throwing a big party and charging
big money for it in the name of Iranian culture?
What kind of use
are you. Honestly
I hate Iranians. They make me sick.
And don't think you're any different, they just can't do anything
right. Don't
tell me it's out of respect for that
skinny
hunger-striker.
I hate you and I hate my culture.
Parvaneh
Kheyng
Toronto
Frank
Salaam,
Jomhuriyeh Eslami bayad goh bokhoreh
bemeereh. Thanks.
Hossein Hosseini-joon
Rasti tavalodetoon mobarak.
Akhaaaaay
Dear Iranian.com,
Happy birthday. I am a single
man and I have not had a
single response
on
the singles
site
advertised
on your
website.
Is it something I wrote?
I am a civil engineer in Reykjavik.
For
the
first three years here I
was very cold. The next three
I learned to spell the name
of the city. So you can see I
have not had
much chance to date. It's
tough. This
bastard Khomeini came and
we were catapulted to all
corners of the globe. Luckily you are
in Berkeley. I am
in Iceland.
Sardameh.
Dr
Peyman Yakhbandoon
Yakhchal  Read between the
lines
Dear Iranian.com,
My girlfriend is Iranian
and I thought I would
impress her by
becoming
familiar with
your
culture. I love
that crispy
rice
dish you have. Her
mother cooks it. Also her sister
is pretty
cute. I wondered if
anybody would like
to
communicate with me
regarding the concept
of "kos khol".
The other night
my wife's
cousin
Farshid explained
to me that
it is an ancient form
of flattery. This
pleased
me enormously
but I wondered
if any word-experts
out there could tell
me what it
means and its history
so I can impress my
wife.
Theo W. Johnson, Jr.
San Francisco
Tried
up a tree?
Dear Mr JJ,
My name is Mary
Berg and I live
in Conneticut.
I owned
a Persian
cat
which I have
lost and I wondered
if
it might be
reading this. It responds
to the
name Nectarin
or Nikky. Come
home
to mama nikky.
Mary Berg
Conneticut
Good idea
Dear Shahjahan,
Please accept
my warmest
felicitations and
my most
sincere infidelities.
I
hope that
your
are well
and that
we of the inclination
to
speak
English will continue
to do
so and help
culture to be better
like Kamal
Ataturk. Let's
spoke
English.
Tanks.
Jamal
Jeronimo
Texas
Mr Presidnet
Dear
Mr
Javid,
I
know you
are busy.
I know
Mr Ganji
is not
well. But
please celebrate
your site's
10th birthday.
Yes iranian.com
is banned
in Iran,
hopefully it
won't be
in 10
years when
Khatami will
be in
power again
I am
sure. He
is a
good man.
We must
be patient.
Mohammad
Khatami
Tehran
Reminder
Dear
Mr Javid,
Didn't
I tell
you to
fuck off?
Now fuck
off already.
Arya
Aryanejad
New
York City
 Land
of The
FREE
Hi,
Thanks
for helping
me come
to terms
with my
identity over
the years.
I am
now Japanese.
Happy birthday!
Mushi
Shushi, formerly
Shushi Mushi
Tokyo
Akbar
Ganji
Dear readers,
I assume Jahanshah Javid is
not celebrating
iranian.com's 10th
anniversary because
it would
not be appropriate
to do
so while
journalist Akbar
Ganji is
approaching death for the
founding principles
of Iranian.com
itself: freedom
of speech
and opposition
to the
Islamic Republic
of Iran.
Peyvand Khorsandi
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