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Jihad, Jihad, Jihad
Be careful what you wish for



February 14, 2006

WARREN, Michigan -- So you long for the glorious Jihad, a chance to atone for centuries of Muslim impudence. Yes, its time to hold high the severed heads of the infidel. Its time for Islam to claim its rightful position as the law of the world! Jihad, Jihad, Jihad!

OK... let's think about that. Will the infidel sit silently while you systematically behead them? Is there any chance that at some point the non-Muslim world will say, "Enough is enough"? Or simply say "No"?

Jihad is a wonderfully mythic concept but in the end it is a call for war. Usually wars consist of two sides. Is it too far of a stretch to imagine that the people whom Jihadists wage war against might just fight back?

And if they do fight back, what might that look like? How does the combined Muslim military might match up to its enemy's forces? How about Muslim air power? How long will it last? One day? One week? One Month? OK, lets say the Jihadist Air Force fights the infidel's air force to a draw. Where will the Muslim Air Force get its replacement planes? You know America will be churning out brand new planes as fast as the Jihadists destroy them. What is the annual production of jet fighters from Muslim countries? How about battle tanks? Artillery?

"But look what the Mujahideen did to the Soviets in Afghanistan" Oh really. I say it was the American's who kicked the Soviet's ass and the Mujahideen were just pawns. The trigger-pullers for American weapons. Could the Mujahideen have won with out the infidel's technology? That's a huge question. Willing to bet the existence of Islam on it?

"Who needs conventional weapons" you say, "Iran is going nuclear". So exactly how would their handful of warheads stack up against America's 3000 warheads? Or Europe's? Or Israel's? How effective would Iran's antiquated missiles fare against America's new anti-missile defense systems? Is calling for Jihad ëbefore' Iran actually has their nukes a smart move?

1% of America's nuclear arsenal is 30 warheads. Imagine 30 vaporized Muslim cities and tell me how Glorious Jihad really is. Teheran, Damascus, Riyadh, Cairo. That's 4, 26 more to go. That would require a tremendous amount of virgins. Imagine 30 warheads going off in Iran alone. America just used 60 warheads and still has 2940 left.

I know that running through the streets yelling "Jihad, Jihad, Jihad" can be fun as hell. How exhilarating to be able to pretend you're masters of the universe. But has anybody actually sat down and thought this whole thing through? Has anybody tried to distinguish between fantasy Jihad where the Muslims win and real Jihad where the Muslims lose?

Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. They say war is hell. Instigating a war with a vastly superior opponent with unlimited production capability is just plain stupid. Ask the Japanese.

I had a friend, a small guy, about 5 foot 5, 145 lbs. He would go into the bar every Saturday night, have 10 beers and pick a fight with the biggest guy in the bar. Usually the bouncer. He'd get his ass kicked every single time. At least he had an excuse. He was drunk.

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