Archive Sections: letters | music | index | features | photos | arts/lit | satire Find Iranian singles today!

Memories

Born again
Story of an MKO member: Part seven

By Sepideh
May 12, 2004
iranian.com

I was in a dilemma, and I really didn't know what to do. On the one hand, insomnia was eroding my power to resist, and, on the other hand, the ignominy of yielding to their inhuman demands was torturing me. Four days without sleep and fear of the Iraqi security agency made me take refuge in my childish justifications and rationalizations that if I wrote what they wanted, they may let me sleep and send me back to the Reception unit where I could complain to brother Massoud about their indecent behaviour of which I was of which I was sure he was unaware.

Eventually, I gave in and told brother Nabi, "I'm really sick and tired. I don't know what you want to do with the letter you are asking me to write. I wonder how a pack of lies can help you."

He replied, "Don't be such a skeptic. Have faith in us and in the Organization. You should place the Organization's interests above your own. So you should write it even if it is all lies. Aren't you a solider of the Liberation Army? Aren't you sister Maryam's solider? So, there's no sense in refusing what we want you to do. Even if what we want you to write is totally lies, you should be ready to write as soon as we even suggest it. You shouldn't have any doubt about it for the sake of the Organization's interests. And you are neither the first nor the only person whom we have wanted to write these things for us. Many have written the same things without shrinking from it, because they had faith in the instructions of the Organization. Did you ever guess we many be sizing up your commitment and loyalty? Now start writing down what I dictate to you."

And I wrote as he dictated to me. "I, Hassan Khalaj, the undersigned, have been a member of the IRGC for 10 yeas. During my membership, I helped this unpopular Organization put down and suppress people. Now I am awakened to my dreadful unpopular deeds and the abysmal I was in, I ask brother Massoud and sister Maryam to pardon me."

Next morning, I was summoned to the Operation room. There, interrogator Jalal, who looked grim and extremely angry, turned to me and said, "it's twenty days that I've been stuck with you and I'm really sick and tired of it. I've got many others to attend to. So you'd better be all ears and write down immediately what I tell you."

And I started writing: "I, Hassan Khalaj, have a long-standing record of suffering from mental disease and have been under intensive medical care in mental hospitals. At times I fall into fits of mental attacks."

I was astounded, so I turned to interrogator Jalal and said, "Do you insist that my writing isn't right at all? I won't let you do that."

Jalal became angry at my remarks, and stared yelling, "Oh yeah, I had forgotten that I should have asked for the permission of trash like you. I thought you dirty rat had learned your lesson did you forget your pitiful situation? You ass, you should know that you couldn't defy us. So far, you have wasted enough of our time. Therefore, you'd better write down what we dictate to you. You have no option. There were big shots that did it, and you are nobody to wiggle out of it. We have other business to attend to, so you'd better write it."

I realized that they had entrapped me badly and that I had entangled myself in a web of difficulties, from which release was a formidable task. I should have expected that when I wrote the first letter, they would ask for more. Brother Jalal, then stared dictating the second letter to me, "I, Hassan Khalaj, the son of Moharam Ali, born in Qazvin, entered the Reception unit of the Liberation Army on Army on 23 September 1993."

I turned to brother Jalal and said, "But this is July 1993, and I entered the Reception in April! Why do you want me to write I was recruited in September?"

He became furious and yelled at me, saying, "It's none of your business. And I wonder if you will finish the letter by yourself or if you want me to make you finish it?"

I knew that I had no other option but to bow to their demands. I had hardly finished that letter when Jalal insisted that I write one last letter: "I, Hassan Khalaj, a former member of the unpopular IRGC, escaped my dark and bleak past and joined the Liberation Army, after the Organization leadership, and in particular, sister Maryam extended their rays of love and affection to me. I hope that the Organization leadership and sister Maryam will pardon me."

It seemed that finally it was over after writing all those nonsensical and stupid letters. At least I could be happy that I got rid of brother Jalal, or rather, the security unit of the Organization.

My mental condition was deteriorating day after day. On the one hand, I was obsessed with how I could inform brother Massoud of the security unit which was growing in the Organization like a cancerous tumour. On the other hand, I was uncertain about my future, and didn't know what would happen to me.

Two weeks late, I was told that I should plan for an operation within Iran. I was ordered to prepare the plan in a week's time. I asked sister Pari, who briefed me on my mission, if was supposed to go to Iran for the operation. She responded that nothing was clear, but insisted that I had to prepare the plan. "Most probably we will send you to Iran", she said.

I prepared a plan to explode the radio transmission station and a static interference installation. I sent the plan to sister Pari. After sometime she summoned me and said, "your plan was okay, but we expected more. We want you to go to your own town, Qazvin, and blow up a restaurant there. It belongs to a renegade member, O.S. It's not all we want you to do. There's a store that you must set on fire."

I told her, "But they know me there. They know who I am and as soon as I step into the town, they will apprehend me."

She answered calmly, "Come off it. Nothing will happen to you. The security service in Iran is not as strong and effective as you think. You'll face no peril. Now go and think over your mission.

After tow months of detention at Az-hadi base, they decided to send me to the Reception unit, which was located at Khales region within the Ashraf base, east of Eskan. A tall wall enclosed the area, which was as long as one kilometre. They told us that a newly built base, Hanif, had been erected in the area.>>> To be continued >>> Index

* *

COMMENT
For letters section
To Sepideh

* Advertising
* Support iranian.com
* FAQ
* Reproduction
* Write for Iranian.com
* Editorial policy

ALSO
By Sepideh
Born again
in iranian.com

Sepideh-org.com
homepage

RELATED
Diaspora
in iranian.com

History
in iranian.com

Book of the day
amazon.com

The Iranian Mojahedin
By Ervand Abrahamian

© Copyright 1995-2013, Iranian LLC.   |    User Agreement and Privacy Policy   |    Rights and Permissions