The wizard of odd
When the White man really goes berserk
February 21, 2002
From: KKK Grand Wizard
To: Mr. John White
In our recent meeting, we decided that the last name "White" was not
appropriate for you. As a Black man it does not reflect the color of your skin and
must be changed immediately. We further determined that to protect the purity of the White
race, you must stay away from last names such as Offwhite, Glossywhite, or any other
shade of white or even Beige.
To intimidate you, we performed a cross-burning ceremony at your porch last Thursday
night. Unfortunately, during this operation one of rookie knights left his hood and
robe at your place. By making this obvious error he has jeopardized the secrecy of
This Goddamn Bobby Fletcher will never turn into a full-fledged KKK member. I have
lost confidence in the clumsy bastard. He had also left an empty can of beer on the
job site which constitutes littering and he could be fined up to $200.
Do you remember Bobby, Mr. White? The chubby retarded-looking son of James Fletcher?
Bobby was the little cute chubby kid in white robe who was with his dad the night
we burned a cross on your porch 18 years ago. James has always taken him on jobs
like this and he still hasn't got it yet.
Believe me sir, if it wasn't for his dad, I would never let him protect the White
race. I assure you that after this fiasco he will not have my blessings for permanent
membership. However, please return the hood and robe in the enclosed stamped envelope
to my home address.
I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
KKK Grand Wizard
PS: I think I have a plumbing leak at my house, is your 10% off coupon still good?
Would you take a look at it and give me an estimate?