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Cloning

Nancy's fancy fish farm
Genetically modified Glo-fish?

By Afsaneh Bahrami
December 9, 2003
The Iranian

About 3 years ago, scientists advocating genetic engineering and human cloning collectively authored a scientific article and had it published in newspapers worldwide. And that's no mean feat.

I found out about it through the DrudgeReport.

Today I have to conclude their scare tactics worked. The hottest Christmas present this season is the genetically modified Glo-fish.

FrankenFish is here! We need to regain our collective sanity and stop courting distaster.

Back then, the Health Mafia warned about this sort of thing. Hmm... kind of. Here's what they said three years ago.

Quote: "People and their representative governments should promptly move to allow cloning technology and create governing bodies to enforce guidelines. If not, a black market for cloning will soon, ensue. In fact, if there are not already people out there, cloning in their garages, there will be soon!"

Wow! In other words, years and years of research, costing billions of taxpayer dollars concluded:

"Ordinary shmooos can clone just as easily in their own garages."

It would have been more cost effective to put a call out for those Garage Cloners. Encourage them to come forward and share their do-it-yourself medical break throughs with the people, at garage sale prices.

As it turns out, the Free Market Hog was have been tied down a long time ago. I still have hope for my ideas, though.

Today it's Glo-fish for the kids. Tomorrow, perhaps my creation for user friendly fine dining.

Hey Billy do you like fish, but are way too busy to place a pad of butter and some fish in a frying pan for ten minutes?

Way too sophisticated for something flash frozen that has to be nuked for five whole long minutes?

Then try my Neo Fancy Fish Snack, an adapted form of the Rainbow Trout.

Even as a tiny tadpole, the fish has scales genetically modified to look and taste just like parsley garnish!

Over time the tail will develop into thin orange slices, genetically programmed to burst into delicate flower like petals in your mouth!

Just remove my fancy fish snack from its radiation protective lining. Keep away from heat and open flames!

Then like a Hot Pad shake it for a few moments and serve on a Styrofoam plate immediately!

Introducing my Neo Self-Heating Fancy Fish Snack, ready to eat before you can say ARRRHG....

DING!

Ding sold separately!

For a some different try, Nasty flavored Neo Self-Heating Fancy Fish Snacks.

Nasty, because the tartar sauce is already in the code!

This message brought to you by Nancy’s Fancy Fish Farm, where the fish is already bred-ed for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author

Afsaneh Bahrami is the publisher of Aunti Establishment Weekly. Afsaneh is a writer / performer based in Toronto. ("I specialize in epic roles, funny faces and minor speaking parts, when I can get them.") She can be reached telepathically at 1 800 AUNTI EST.

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