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Relationships

Welcome to the 21st century!
I wondered if at the end of the day this generation is really that different from those of the recent past

February 22, 2005
iranian.com

Life is certainly very different than what my grandmother (rest her soul!) would have ever imagined! The truth is even my mother (bless her heart!) can barely digest what it means to be a single-professional-Iranian-grew-up-in-the-West-but-I'm-still-Iranian-too kind of woman in today's age.

I do believe my generation is setting precedence. You know... those who were barely a few years old when the revolution happened... so they remember enough that they will never fully be European-ish or American-ish... but have mostly grown up in the West so they'll also never fully be the-pure-bred-never-left-Iran-Irooni-women!

I wondered if at the end of the day this generation is really that different from those of the recent past.

My phone rang, and a friend of mine called to complain. She had ran into her ex-boyfriend two consecutive weekends at her two favorite spots, so she needed a shoulder (or at least an ear piece) to cry on. She was upset because she did not want to risk running into her past every time she went out, but she also did not want to give up her favorite hang outs in the future! (... Now, now, all dilemmas are relative!)

Then I thought: welcome to relationships in the 21st century! I'd be curious to know if anyone has yet taken their Ex to court, for a custody battle, of "favorite hot spots in town"?

As she talked, she got even more distraught! What if she ran into to him and he had a date with him? What if she went there on a date, and he showed up? (... Come on now, this is a legitimate concern. Especially in Southern California!)

Again, I thought: welcome to relationships in the 21st century! My grandmother, who lost her husband at a very young age, never remarried. Relationships really were for a lifetime back then. Even if it meant a lifetime of loneliness! I wondered, if grandma were still here, what would she say is the right amount of "mourning time" after the end of a relationship, before one could appropriately take a date to the old "favorite spots"?

Wow, what a difference a couple of generations make? Which is better? Which is worse? Spending a lifetime with the memory of a partner seems lonely and sad. And yet, the thought of a string of relationships one after the other also seems tiring and hectic.

I personally do not want either one. We've all created some kind of English-French-German-Farsi-Finglisi-language over the years. Why are we having such a hard time doing the same with relationships?

I'd take some mid-point in the middle please! I just hope to God that I am not the only one looking for the middle of this particular bell-shaped curve. Otherwise, this is going to be one annoyingly long search!

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