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Selected short notes * Moving September 30, 2002 * Moving My mother before leaving for Spain early Sunday morning: "I don't know where I'm going. But it's better than knowing where I am." September 30, 2002 * Chicken soup When I was in New York, I got sick one day and didn't go to work. I heard the door bell around noon. It was my colleague from Iran Business Monitor, Majid Zarafshan, with a bag full of groceries. He chopped a variety of fresh vegetables and cooked the tastiest chicken soup. I was deeply touched by his kindness. September 30, 2002 * Dasht-e Parvaneh According to locals, Dasht-e Parvaneh (Butterfly Plains) near Kelardasht, is full of butterflies at a certain season. Many of the butterflies have black wings with a red dot on the back end of each wing. September 27, 2002 * Born in Iran? No visa for you Dear Mr. Javid, I've read your note on the G2K site [Chilling effect], and wished to share with you the apprehensions which you have regarding the new US visa regulations concerning people from the Middle East, and especially from rogue and "evil" states, such as Iran and Iraq. Two Iranian Jews, who have immigrated to Israel from Iran some time ago and have been victims of Palestinian terror, have been refused entery into the USA after being invited by Iranian Jewish American citizens. In another case, a professor from Bar Ilan University in Israel, who was just three-years old when his parents decided to immigrate from Iran to Israel, has been refused entry into the USA although, he was invited by an American University to deliver a lecture. Moreover, few days ago I read that the ex-chief of staff of the IDF, Maj-General (ret.) Shaul Mofaz, who is now a citizen, has been detained for some time at a U.S. airport only because he was born in Iran (which he left at the age of 9) and in spite of the fact that in his official capacity he has been to the USA on numerous occasions. I just wanted to let you know that this phenomenon has a much wider range. Being
born in Iran, I believe that I'll be encountering similar problems when I'll be next
wishing to visit the US. Dr. Soli Shahvar September 27, 2002 * Chilling effect To Gulf2000 members: September 25, 2002 * Deep sleep I dreamt I was lying in an operating room and being injected with an anesthetic that completely knocked me out. I've never slept so well. September 25, 2002 * Headline In a New York park, a young boy was attacked by a savage dog. A passer by happened
to see that and came to the rescue. Having tackled the vicious dog, he strangled
it to death. September 25, 2002 * Point of view Work like you don't need the money. September 25, 2002 * Beautiful
I've been thinking of starting a new iranian.com section for gathering anything I find particularly beautiful. Like the Vespa motorcycle. Or the new Thunderbird. Or Dolce & Gabbana fashion items (I saw a bag of theirs advertised in GQ; gorgeous). Then Mahzad Seif recommended paintnings by her art teacher in college, Joe Remillard. September 23, 2002 * Compare and contrast
I was invited to lunch yesterday. My host had seen this AFP photo in The New York Times and noticed its similarities with this famous painting by Goya. September 23, 2002 * Arabic teacher Heard from Leila Farjami: When I was in junior high school in Iran, we had a teacher who taught Arabic. She was supposed to teach us Arabic. But every time she came to class she would only talk about her problems at home and how much she hated her husband. September 21, 2002 * Khosh Amadi
September 18, 2002 * Announcing the arrival of Dareya (sp?) First email from Kambiz Foroohar: Kambiz and Rana are proud, relieved, ecstatic, delighted to announce the arrival
of Dareya (sp?) Foroohar on September 16 at 6:40 pm. Unlike his father who is usually
tardy, Dareya, weighing 7 pounds and half an ounce, came 12 days early but not without
a long labour. Second email from Kambiz Foroohar: Folks: Am I in trouble. Dareya is a beautiful little girl. Sorry for the confusion...
Her daddy is a little sleep deprived!!! That's my defense and I'm sticking to it.
Many thanks for your kind emails. Hope to see most of you soon. September 20, 2002 * Zzzz David Letterman had a bit on his TV show. He was showing the covers for "new textbooks". One of them was Understanding Russian Literature. He opened the book and there was a pillow inside. September 19, 2002 * On the edge Heard from Reza in San Francisco: At work there's a Muslim guy from Pakistan. He's been in America for 20 years. He doesn't take shit from anyone. A few days ago he was picking up his pay check. A co-worker (White man with thick mid-western accent) joked, "Hey, what are you gonna do with that money? Gonna go to a ball game? Or are you send it to your wife and kids in PAK-KEES-TAN?" and chuckled. The Muslim guy went up close, grabbed the guy's collar with his pinky and said (with a thick Pakistani accent), "Listen you mother fucker. You think I came to this country yesterday? I know more about Baseball than you do. I''ll shove a baseball bat right up your ass." September 19, 2002 * Taraneh
I met Taraneh Hemaami today at her art exhibit in San Francisco. Her "Hall of Reflections" -- an archive of photographs and text from Iranian-Americans displayed on mirrors and glass -- is brilliantly conceived and beautifully displayed. The reflections suggest that each person's experiences are shared by all, in one way or another. Later we had kabab and zereshkpolo at Alborz resaturant. Here's 30 seconds of Taraneh >>> video clip (AVI format, 7.1 mbytes. Need QuickTime to see it) September 19, 2002 * Dead and alive I should have written this note much earlier. By now I only have faint recollection of a strange dream I had a few months ago. The clearest part I remember was being shot several times. And I remember that I didn't die. Then, did I grow a new body, or shed the old? Something along those lines. September 16, 2002 * Man & woman Mother talking to her daughter in the film "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (not an exact quote): The man is the head of the family. But the woman is the neck -- she can turn the head any direction she wants. September 16, 2002 * Ammeh & the dog We were walking toward the entranceway to my building in Los Angeles when a dog came leaping towards us. Ammeh jumped backwards letting out a loud cry. The dog's owner materialized and with a big grin assured us: "Don't worry, he's very friendly." September 13, 2002 * Jesus & Hitler & the cold war
Last night Reza Zia Ebrahimi translated jokes by French comedian, Coluche. Not exact quotes. Thank God Jesus died on the cross. If they had drowned him in the sea, we would be putting a bucket of water above our bed. *** -- Himmler: Let's invade Switzerland tomorrow morning. *** Anti-communist jokes * In the Soviet Union every one had a TV. But instead of you watching the TV, the TV watched you. * In communist Poland, you couldn't drink and drive -- because there weren't any cars. * In communist Poland, a sandwich consisted of two bread coupons with a ham coupon in the middle.
* Yuri Gagarin was the unluckiest Russian. He was the first man to orbit the earth -- and land right back in the Soviet Union. * In Moscow they have invented a dental device that goes through your ass to your mouth and pulls out teeth. Why don't they pull teeth througth the mouth? Because Soviets keep their mouth shut. * In the Soviet Union, TVs were equipped with wipers -- because viewers spat at it during the news. * In the Soviet Union, you couldn't spit on the street. It was forbidden to talk about politics in public areas. * A Polish man became a millionaire selling "WE'RE OUT OF MEAT" signs. * Switzerland can never become communist because it's too small for such a large catastrophe. September 13, 2002 * The wonderful Simpsons
Heard watching old episodes of "The Sipmsons" at Reza and Leila's place in San Francisco. Not exact quotes. * Church minister: Marge made me realize that there's more to being a minister than not caring about people. * Vietnamese talking on the phone: "Hi... Hi... Hi... Hi... Hi... Hi... Hi... Hi... Bye!" * Zoo keeper reacting to man caught in cage full of rabid baboons: "If the animals don't kill the intruder, it would be real bad for their society." September 12, 2002 * HAD to be there Our home in Abadan was close to the Braim swimming pool. But the most popular pool was in Sehgoosh. That's where most of my friends went. It was bigger. It had a higher diving board (see an after Iraqi war photo). And there was a good chance my sweetheart, Hengameh, was going to be there. The problem was that I didn't have the 15 rials (about a nickle at the time) to hire a taxi. It was hot as hell, and the pool was a 15-minute drive away. But I had to go. I HAD to be there. I was about 13 at the time. I put on my thick towel robe and slippers and started to walk to the pool. Five minutes under the hot sun, with my feet burning on the sidewalk asphalt, and cars honking, I knew what I was doing was crazy. But getting there was too important. September 12, 2002 * Sedaa-yash ro dar nayaar From SSG: "Sedaa-yash ro dar nayaar, ke Osama yek bomb ham baraa-ye maa mifresteh!" (Don't talk about this or else Osama will send us a bomb too!) One of the earliest recorded proposals for the solution of the problem of a homeland for the Jews in the Diaspora, is a recorded conversation between Nasser-ed-Din Shah and Baron de Rothschild on the occasion of the Shah's visit to France in July of 1873. Rothschild speaks to the Shah in behalf of the interests of the Jews of Persia and receives an assurance from the Shah that they are a protected minority in Persia, but then the Shah also proposes a solution to their lack of a homeland, which takes Rothschild somewhat by surprise. Forty three years later, Lord Rothschild, from the English branch of the family, will be instrumental for just such a solution , but along different lines than those suggested by Nasser-ed-Din Shah. The 1917 solution has come to be known as the Balfour Declaration, proposing a homeland for the Jews in what then was still called Ottoman Palestine. The rest is history! September 12, 2002 * To the point Got a two-word email from a stranger: Be good. September 11, 2002 * September 11, 2002
Albany, California September 10, 2002 * Largest American flags Heard from J.S. in Los Angeles You see all these houses with American flags? The ones with the largest flags belong to Iranians. It's not because they feel patriotic about America. It's because they want to say "We're not terrorists." September 10, 2002 * Full military gear I was at a military check point. There were two guards. While one of them was checking my ID, I noticed the other. She was in full military gear, with a big semi-automatic rifle hanging from her shoulder, across her chest. She was looking at her reflection up close against the guard post window, checking her make-up. September 5, 2002 * Lady in red How many of you remember the old Lady dressed in red from head to toe who used to go sit in a doorway on the northeast side of Meydune Ferdowsi every day? I was told according to urban legend that she had been doing this for the past 19 years because her lover had been drafted into the army or had had to go away for some such reason and was not sure when he would be free to return so she had promised to wait for him there every day at Medune Ferdowsi, dressed in red so he could spot her right away. From Brian H. Appleton's "Tales from the zirzameen" September 5, 2002 * Sirjan mon amour Heard from S. in Los Angeles: I have a relative who studied law in France in the 1930s or 40s. He married a French woman and returned to Sirjan -- a small town (much smaller than today) near Kerman. The woman fell in love with Sirjan and refused to live part of the year in France, as her husband suggested. She speaks fluent Farsi -- with a Sirjani accent. c September 5, 2002 * Mississippi mules I was watching a documentary on Afghanistan. They were showing how the U.S. supported its allies there. One form of support was to airlift mules from Mississippi to remote areas of Afghanistan. I felt so sorry for the mules. September 4, 2002 * Vilin Heard from Mahmoud. I didn't ask about the exact spelling: I have an Iranian friend in San Francisco. When he was born (in Iran some 45 years ago), his Marxist parents wanted to pick a name that was close to their heart, wihtout revealing their "subversive" views. They decided on "Vilin", short for Vladimir Ilich Lenin. September 4, 2002 * Time to heal It was early in the day. I had the privilege of working with a wonderful family
physician in a small town in Vermont for almost two weeks. * Zinat Javid
Grandmother Zinat Javid, Santa Monica, California, September 1, 2002 >>> Video clip September 3, 2002 * Okayeh Friend: "When you first moved to the San Francisco Bay Area in 1996, [so and so] told me to be careful." Me: "Why?" Friend: "Because you were a journalist for IRNA (Islamic Republic News Agency) for many years and wroked for Aftab TV in New York, which was funded by the Iranian government. But I told him, 'Nah okayeh... I saw him dressed as a woman at Bella and Nersi's Halloween party'."
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* In communist Poland, they weren't allowed to water the plants -- because
it would bust the microphones.
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