Archive Sections: letters | music | index | features | photos | arts/lit | satire Find Iranian singles today!
Football

Olaagh pass bedeh!
Preserving Iranian civil society on the football field in the age of headbutts

 

 

Cameron Milani
October 28, 2006
iranian.com

Although name calling is part of every great soccer game, there are times that players cross the line and induce a violent reaction in other players. If you play with fellow Iranians, do not violate these rules:

Rule 100
Cursing

Insults, targeting one's sister, mother, or wife, is an absolute violation of thise rule. One, however, could go after the brother, brother-in-law, or wife's uncle, unless you know, or have reason to believe, they are present on the field. Fathers are the only male relative who are protected. All other male relatives, if alive, or otherwise present anywhere- but not on the field- are fair game, provided the insult does not involve their wive(s), daughter(s), or sister(s).

Rule 101
Name calling

a) Calling each other animal names, as a rule, are tolerated, unless outlawed by Rule 101-Sec. b.

b) The following names may not be used:

-- Khar
-- Olaagh
-- Gaav
-- Yaaboo
-- Toolehsag

c) Strongly discouraged, but still permissible ones are:

-- Anchoochak
-- Boozeeneh (only once per game)

d) Names such as asb , palang and kabootar, if used in a complimentary manner, are allowed.

Rule 102
Animal waste

All terms, as listed here or otherwise, involving animal wastes are banned, unless refered to the ball, the game, or the club. Players are banned from using these terms to describe the state of mind, gesture or attitude of a player, or the way one played, passed, or shot the ball:

-- Taapaaleh
-- Peshkel
-- Sendeh pashmaaloo

Rule 103
Body parts

a ) Your own bodyparts -- as a way of belitteling one's action or state of mind--, verbally or pointing them out physically, is generally allowed. Exceptions exist when while pointing to his genitals, one states "beh keeram". Note that "beh tokhmam" (or "beh tokhmeh chapam") is tolerated. (Example: Bobak informs the team that because of a tennis tournament, he'll have to miss next week's game. "Beh tokhmam" would be a justified response.)

b) Emphysis: "Beh tokhmam", referring to one's own balls, is allowed. "Beh keeram", on the other hand, is deemed offensive and therefore banned.

c) The other player's bodyparts: "Beh tokhmet", just as under Rule 103.a., is permissible Here."Beh keeret" though banned under Rule 103.a., may be freely used since the "first person singular" becomes "second person singular" defusing it's offensive tendency. (The plural variation,"beh keeretoon", may also be stated)

d) "Beh koonet" shall not be used by any party under any circumstances, unless a waiver is duely obtained from the chief (team's manager).

Rule 104
Bodily fluids and solids

a) Oral fluids: Reference to "Tof" is not barred under the provisions of this section, as long as it's going to: "beh roohet", "beh ghabret" or, "beh zaatet".

The usage anywhere else is not allowed.

b) Defecation: "Reedee" is permissible, where deemed proper. (Example: Farshad's poor handling of Majid's good pass in front of the goal last week warrants a situation where the term could be used). So are the milder versions, such as  "terekmoon zadee", "ter zadee", ... etc.

Rule 105
Semi-rude terms

Terms- "khafeh sho" is off limits, unless the insultee is at least 20 years younger than the insulter. Blood relatives may also use the term, but only by the senior insulter on a junior insultee. It's English cousin, "Shut up", may be used with caution. Up to 3 times in one game, and no more than twice used on one player.

Other rude terms include, but are not limited to the following, may not be used in refering to a player, whether or not, it can be heard by the instulted player:

-- Obneh ee
-- Dagooree
-- Koongoshaad
-- Laashee
-- Dozaaree
-- Joal'lagh
-- Soosool

Rule 106
Refering to one's ancestry

Disrespecting ancestors again, as a general rule is not allowed. Terms such as "sag-massab", "korreh-khar" must be avoided. "Laa-massab", however, is allowed.

Rule 107
Profession

Referances to (honest but) seemingly looked down upon listed below professions:

1) Amaleh
2) Hammal
3) Dallaak

are considered offensive and therefore are not allowed.

Rule 108
Insults to self

Self-insults such as "goh khordam" , "reedam" may be freely used as an admittion of guilt. Once such term is asserted into the game by the guilty party, everyone else is precluded from shooting terms  mentioned in Rule 103-107 on him. Comment

 

COMMENT
To Cameron Milani
For letters section

* FAQ
* Advertising
* Support iranian.com
* Editorial policy
* Write for Iranian.com
* Reproduction

RELATED
Sports

Satire

Opinion

Picturing Iran
Art, Society and Revolution
by Shiva Balaghi and Lynn Gumpert 

Copyright 1995-2013, Iranian LLC.   |    User Agreement and Privacy Policy   |    Rights and Permissions