... most precious treasures: Iranian women
By Mr Je Sea
June 5, 2003
This morining when I woke up I looked at my dear wife
as she slept peacefully and I realized that I may be the luckiest
man on the face of the planet. I have been fortunate to wake up
next to the woman that I love for the past 8544 nights, ever since
I married this beautiful Iranian lady in January 1980. If God grants
me another 8544 nights I will cherish each and every one of them
as if it were the first.
Over the years that I have read The Iranian,
I have seen more than a few articles written by Iranian men that
disparage Iranian women. These nasty articles have portrayed Iranian
women as spoiled and greedy gold diggers, especially Iranian women
who grew up outside of Iran. Perhaps, there is some truth to what
they write with certain women but certainly not the vast majority.
None of the Iranian women that I have ever known have
displayed such ignoble and selfish qualities, and this is especially
true in the case of my wonderful wife. Without a doubt she has given
me more love and given more meaning to my life than I have ever
been capable of giving to her. I shall never abide those who seek
to belittle Iranian girls and dismiss them as potential marriage
partners because frankly speaking they do not know what they are
When my wife and I were still in our teens we entered
into, perhaps, the most challenging type of marriage that is possible
for two people; one in which the partners are from different cultures
and countries. In the early years, I think that we both felt that
"if I can only make him/her more like me everything will work
out fine." But, that is where we were both wrong. Just as a
leopard cannot change its spots, we were unable to remake one another.
Once we learned this very important truth, we began to compromise.
Compromise was not easy for me, however, for like
the writers who are unkind to Iranian women, I too was ignorant
and stubborn at times. Now that I am well into my forties, I thank
God that that my wife was patient with me until the time that I
could learn to really appreciate her. This man, who married her
all those years ago, did so because he wanted her; the man who looked
upon her this morning as she slept needs her.
When I held her long I ago, I did so only with passion.
When I hold her now it is with deep love and tenderness. What the
flame has lost in intensity over the years, it has gained in warmth
and intimacy. For many years my wife was not my best friend. I grew
up beleiving that it wasn't possible for a spouse to be a best friend.
How wrong I was.
We have grown so close over the years that sometimes
we don't even have to speak to know what the other is thinking.
Sometimes we say the exact same thing at the same time. If I were
to lose her now, I really think that I would be lost. It would truely
be like losing half of me.
A few months ago we visited Kish Island with one of
our two children. I speak very little Farsi, but my son speaks it
well. We were out on a boating excursion around the island with
with other Iranians when the lady sitting next to my wife began
speaking in Farsi to her. This lady kept looking at me and it became
obvious that she was talking about me. I whispered to son, "What
are they saying?" He said the lady asked mommy, 'Isn't it difficult
to be married to a foreigner'?"
Feeling uneasy and fearing her response, I timidly
asked my child what my wife replied. He said mommy told her, "It's
no more difficult for me being married to a foreigner than it is
for my husband being married to a foreigner." My wife's response
was an affirmation of our commitment to one another. It would have
been easy for her to say "it's very difficult", but she
did not... she stood by me even when I could not understand what
they were talking about.
To say that this woman has enriched my miserable life
beyond measure is simply inadequate. She is loving and loyal, trustworthy
and tender, giving and gracious. She is my love and my life. She
is a proud Iranian woman. Those men who seek to belittle and berate
Iranian women either do not know them or are simply too ignorant
to appreciate one of God's most precious treasures on this earth.
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