You Are Not Iranian.

You Are Not Iranian.
by Rosie.
20-Jun-2010
 

This week I learned something interesting  here about Iran. I learned that none of you are Iranian.

You're not Iranian and you're not Nationalists and all of you are agents of someone or other. You're a special kind of spy called  a 'Cyber Warrior' that sits at a computer screen night and day, typing, typing, 24/7, while drinking lattes in Los Angeles. And you must be handsomely paid for it too, because that's a helluva lot of lattes. You must not like this website very much if you're only in it for the money, not one single one of you speaks fluent Persian, and you've never been to Iran.

So here's the thing. I am not Iranian either. In fact, I'm one of the least Iranian of anybody here. And I have proof. I took this test once and I didn't get a single question right. (Well, except for the one about arriving late to parties).

//iranian.com/main/blog/honest-hassan/you-know-you-are-iranian-when

I'm bored of New York, I like  LA, my Persian sucks, and I like lattes . I already sit at a computer screen night and day, typing, typing 24/7, and I don't even get paid for it. I'm not too hot on this website either, because all you people do is scream at each other, night and day. 24/7, about how none of you are Iranian. I'm not an Iranian nationalist because, as I mentioned above, I'm not Iranian. And I've never been to Iran.

I have all the qualifications for a Cyber Warrior, am willing to relocate, and if necessary, start at the bottom and train. I am cooperative and train well, but very temperamental, so I can scream as good as the next guy.

So what I'd like to know is if they're hiring, could you please leave the contact information for your employer here, so I can send in my resume. And can I use you as a reference.

I need a job.

Balatarin
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Hossein Derakhshan (Hoder)
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Jul 07, 2010
more from Rosie.
 
Boom

LOL!!!

by Boom on Mon Jun 21, 2010 04:52 AM PDT

"I look in the mirror and you know what? It screams Iranian"

Actually it screams, "Yikkkkkes! Shave that ugly hezi beard, you're killing me!" And then, of course, it breaks into a thousand pieces.

I wonder how many good mirrors these hezis have murdered over the last 31 years???? Khalkhali alone was responsible for 48 million!!!

No lie.

 

IRAN IS A PRISONER OF IRI


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Sargord Pirouz

Funny post, Rosie. I get

by Sargord Pirouz on Sun Jun 20, 2010 06:27 PM PDT

Funny post, Rosie. I get accused of this kind of thing regularly. It's easier for some than to address the real aspects of a discussion.

I'm not going to take the test. I look in the mirror and you know what? It screams Iranian. Couldn't not be Iranian if I tried. 


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yolanda

......

by yolanda on Sun Jun 20, 2010 04:29 PM PDT

Hi! Rosie,

    You are joking, right? I believe you are joking.......LOL!

BTW, IRI's UN mission is in your hood, New York......you can take a look if they have job openings:

//iran-un.org/

Some of the "agents" blog on IC from there.

They do have UN jobs in Iran:

//www.un.org.ir/UN_Opportunities.asp

//www.un.org.ir/

Please take care!

Don't take this post too seriously!


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benross

you don't qualify

by benross on Sun Jun 20, 2010 03:23 PM PDT

I'm afraid you don't qualify. The criteria is to be accused of not being Iranian. You blew it. There is no point in hiring you. Because you are actually a non-Iranian. It makes the whole thing really dull. The worst you can get is that "you don't understand", "it's non of your business", "go waste your time somewhere else" etc. Otherwise you are generally treated nicely, unless you start digging a bit in our 'anti-colonialist' insecure psyche, then you will be in deep deep trouble, more so as a za'eefé.

For reaching this last stage of esteem -scratching our insecure psyche- you have to work really hard. Because you are already a known non-Iranian. We only hire those who are not a known non-Iranian, so that anything they say can directly scratch this insecure psyche, and be accused of non-Iranianness, and as an obvious puppet or agent or 'nowkar' of some kind of 'arbaab'.

As a confirmed non-Iranian, you may have other venues though. Hang around universities campus for a while, you'd be surprised how quickly you can connect with some left-over Iranians to form a 'humanitarian' group of some sort, doing something, anything that makes daddy imperialist maaaad! 


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Rea

Universal, love it ;o)

by Rea on Sun Jun 20, 2010 02:22 PM PDT

This in particular: 

"Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs."  ;o)


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pastor bill rennick

Most of the visitors of this site are A-Rabs NOT I-Rain-Nians!

by pastor bill rennick on Sun Jun 20, 2010 02:20 PM PDT

As usual you have stated the obvious!


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reader1

You've blown it again Rosie …

by reader1 on Sun Jun 20, 2010 02:13 PM PDT

Good bloggers don’t qualify for the Cyber Warrier job! Good luck next time.


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humanbeing

i meant leaving in this format

by humanbeing on Sun Jun 20, 2010 02:13 PM PDT

i.e. by becoming 'hired'.


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Rosie.

Where did you get the idea that I'm leaving?

by Rosie. on Sun Jun 20, 2010 02:07 PM PDT

If I get hired, I'll be in like Flynt.


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humanbeing

rosie, from another non-iranian

by humanbeing on Sun Jun 20, 2010 02:03 PM PDT

that was great! i looked at the questionnaire, and a lot of that stuff applies to my landtsmaenner (loved the suitcase one!). i'd be more than glad to write you a recommendation letter, but i don't think mine would count for much (not iranian). anyway, maziar is right and nyc should not be changed for a 'loft in the moon'. agent or not (wink wink) this site would not be the same without you. don't you dare leave us!


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maziar 58

Forget about it

by maziar 58 on Sun Jun 20, 2010 01:49 PM PDT

Fahgit about it (as they say in New york) If new york (NYC) wasn't that expensive I wouldn't change it for a loft in the moon.

that said hope you're not serious,But you can hook up with jj's pal and go to london  and back to kaliforny and then god know where .

Bouna fortuna.          Maziar


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