To my battered heart
By the thought of a new love
I keep screaming … ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!
But my heart shrugs it off, as if HE is the one in charge!
While the shadow of her smile
still covers the rays of my sun
While the sound of her name
still rings into my ears
And while the taste of her lips
still flavours my tears …
My heart is already out there and sways
How can my heart still play, in the spring of a day,
so carefree and gay?
How can he still shine, when its pieces are so distraught,
in and all around?
How can he be tranquil and not muster up a scream,
when the nights are so still?
I guess my heart is just capriccioso and vile
Fooled by my flesh over there,
Fooled by mind over here
Now and then and again … and again
Perhaps my heart is just dumb and not vile after all
Where is that ideal of mine?
The one I was promised when I grew a little bit of a mind?
Have I been too restless … for her, to me find?
Will she ever come forth to keep my heart calm?
Across the oceans I have gone
And in dreams I have sought
In prayers I have her name called
But she is nowhere to be found
Why can I not be like you
To have a heart without a heart?
Just to live and then die?
To be with someone, but not that special one?
Perhaps I have no right to whine
As I have been touched and loved
More than anyone I can recall
But still I know who hurts most of the time, without any hope in my sight
My body is ok
it’s all sedated and drained
My mind is out there
it’s all tied up and jailed.
And my hope??? … aaah … he does what he does best.
The problem is my heart … could anyone tell him how to stop?
What is this runaway train of a heart
speeding ahead without any thought?
When did my heart learn
to never look back, but only ahead?
And …
why is he not flattened and dead?!!!
And yet my heart refuses to give up!
What is this heart of mine?
All un-scared and brave…
Always refusing to see the final end?
I guess I know the answer,
As it is my heart who knows best.
June. 2006,
Miami, Florida
