Nosy relatives
People in Iran quickly get involved in your situation
March 30, 2000
The Iranian
Letter to The Iranian:
The article written by Cyrus Raafat ["Real
Iranian girls"] inspired me to go to Iran during last December.
I corresponded with this brother for a while and then got my papers together
and went to Iran for the first time in my life, having been born in the
United States in 1975.
People in Iran quickly get involved in your situation, watch out. There
are the doomsayers, the jealous, and the troublemakers who try to ruin
your little pleasures for reasons you'll never understand! Unlike Cyrus,
I speak Farsi pretty well, having gone to a Persian school here in the
U.S., and I could figure out the innuendos and slights made by this or
that nosy relative!
I had some experiences which need to be mentioned here. I met about
ten girls, nearly all relatives, pre-selected by my aunts. The situation
heightened with a selection of the ones you're interested in. If you pretty
much like some of the girls and they like you, then be very careful because
you'll end up in all kinds of family prejudices and squabbles.
In the end, these girls are programmed to act a certain way in front
of you. Once they think you want "her", the ball-game changes.
I called my parents from Iran and told my mom I had found "The One"!
She freaked out and said, "Don't go making any decisions without me."
Dad seemed to think, "Do what you like, just get a pretty one."
(Somehow in Iran these parents are the ultimate arbiters.)
Suddenly the girl I liked (who is my second-cousin) became Little Miss
Princess, higher than the top of an elephant's trunk! The last month turned
into a nightmare. I persevered and finally brought my mother to Iran. But
things went from bad to worse!
Mom didn't like "The One" and when word got round, insults
flew in every direction. My dad showed up in total shock, not having been
to Iran since I was born! (That's another story.)
We eventually got the wedding dress, the gold pieces of jewelry, and
rented a hall. Suddenly these "relatives" RAISED the "bride
price". And then all the accusations started. It turned into an impossible
situation and the wedding was called off. Mom and dad escorted me to the
airport and sent me back to the U.S.
Now I am in love with this girl, and have spent tons of money in phone
calls and no girl!
All I have to say to all you dudes out there is watch your pocket books.
And watch what you say, and who you say it to. If you like a girl DON'T
SAY A WORD TO ANYBODY, ESPECIALLY HER PARENTS! Don't wait until the parents
get involved.
Depressed and alone,
D.
