Photo by J.
Just don't do it
If Agassi embraces his Iranian background
By Farid Moghadassi
February 7, 2001
I admire the man. His mighty service return fascinates the likes of
McEnroe and Sampras, to say the least. Sampras instills fear in his opponents
with his lethal serve. But Agassi's torpedo-like returns can easily outpower
Agassi has a natural instinct for seeing the ball faster and clearer
than any other player. Maybe while Agassi was still in his crib his dad
moved the ball around his head to get his eyes used to the fluorescent
yellow color. Aggressive eyes enable Andre to just rip into the opponent's
Agassi's dramatic style has allowed his popularity to tower over any
other player. Although he has played below expectations at times, his fame
has not faded away considering the staggering endorsements he receives
from corporate America.
However, I, along with many other Iranians, have been offended by Andre's
denial of his Iranian background. My love for this man made me think as
to why he would do such a thing.
Agassi's association with Iran would have led him to a lifestyle much
different than the one he has today. Considering that Iran's image is not
exactly Walt Disney material, Agassi's close association with his father's
country would discourage corporate endorsements. No more Nike. Forget Canon.
Here comes Amir Pistachios. Agassi's contract with Amir Pistachios would
include a fresh box of pistachios before every tournament. His tennis shoes
would come from Agha Mehdi who gets his supply of shoes from the lost and
found room at the mosque in Tehran's bazaar.
My god, if you are thinking Gatorade then think again. Instead he will
be dreinking Sahar Tea. During Wimbledon Agassi is seen with a two-inch
cup of tea and a sugar cube in his left cheek. Instead of the huge Gatorade
cooler, Andre will have a samovar next to his chair at half court.
Oh yeah, Andre will no longer be sitting on a chair. He will rest between
games by squatting on a Persian rug from Abbas Carpets.
Andre, God bless you for going American. I personally do not blame you
any more after listening to myself. But could you please just do me a small
favor and eat kabob koubideh, rice with yolk, raw onions and dough before
your matches so we could see your steamy Iranian burp on live TV?