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... the revolution had not happened

By Mariam Sorond
February 6, 2001
The Iranian

I could have been the next Prime Minister of Iran. My wealth could have been publishable trivia. My social class would have been at the tip of the pyramid. My friends would now be among a thousand families that I could count on for past reference and present glamor.

I would have completed my degree at the American Community School in Tehran, rubbing elbows with the cream of the crop. I would have been be a Harvard alumnus, moving along to Insead for reassurance. I would have been a prominent member of the historical monument preservation society. And solely based on this, Jaddeh Ghadim's name would have changed to Aghdassi-Sorond in my honor.

I would be vacationing all over the world with no visa problems and end up with elaborate albums of smiling pictures. I would be living in Niavaran, and married to Ali Reza Pahlavi.

Instead... I have realized the importance of having an identity crisis.

Culture is not a set of values that one chooses to keep or discard. Culture is more like a cult, it satisfies my needs for belonging. I find it crucial to defend its pride at all times. I have two cultures to base my ideas on, Iranian, and American; sometimes I use Iranian-American.

I am in search of finding the ideal Iranian man living abroad. I look for love over the Internet and date countries instead of people. Democracy is my solution to everything. I criticize every idea or organization created under the umbrella of reform because they are never able to express vast intellectual insight on issues. I have read five different books on living in exile.

In either case... Nostalgia, melancholy, sarcasm, projecting culpability, sanctimonious talents of leadership, using big words to describe little ideas, and Googoosh have contended me.

Disclaimer: The author is not making a pass at Mr. Ali Reza Pahlavi through this article. The contents of this article are for amusement purposes only.

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