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I am your prostitute, saint, bitch, nymph, mother, daughter, sister, and friend

By Sahar Imanabadi
April 29, 2002
The Iranian

True Story: An Arab woman was raped. When this knowledge was brought fourth to her parents, they were outraged. Their daughter had "brought shame" to the family. To address the problem, they had their son kill their daughter for being raped. When the brother was asked in an interview how he felt shooting his sister six times, he replied, "Well, once a glass breaks it becomes worthless!"

As a Persian woman I come from a long line of woman who have been demoralized for their sexuality. I come from generations of enslavement, where a woman's virginity becomes a man's rightful possession. The yearning of a woman is covered with cloth because men are seen as uncontrollable beasts who can not control their sexual hunger.

A woman's desire for sexual contact is judged as unholy and less than. The number of men a woman has slept with is the cur-x-fiction of a community. This cur-x-fiction has gotten so out of control that woman do it to other woman. Mother's disown their daughters, friends point fingers and sisters become shameful. While men continue to binge and purge their hunger for woman.

Doesn't anyone want to know whom these men have slept with? Oh that's right. They sleep with "prostitutes and sluts who love too... spread their legs!"

Sorry that you don't like to hear such words from a nice girl but don't forget your mother, girlfriend, sister, and wife are also women. As the Persian poet Rumi said, "You dare throw stones at me? Well here are your stones and I am your mirror."

As you judge and pray for salvation let me tell you that I too played into this game of illusion. I too played into the game of a "good girl," "proper woman," and "holy female". Like many I was taught that good girls never had a boyfriend and the most precious thing I could offer a man was my virginity. Like many I would wait around for this one man.

Of course these men are also brainwashed. They too are not allowed to think for themselves. Their parents, community and society tell them that the quality of a woman lies between her legs! Now that I am awake I am here to tell you that I am angry!

I am angry for giving fourth my family, culture, community, and society the power to tell me how lovable I am. I am angry for giving my self-worth to a boy in-order to make him feel more like a man and believe that his significance is subjected to how many men I have been with.

Is this what love is suppose to be? Is love all about how good of a man I can make you feel? If so what does that say about your incompleteness?

My voice today is the voice of millions of woman who have come before me and millions of women who are the future.

Many of you might disagree with my disposition. But as hard as it is to hear this, a woman's worth is subjected to her virginity. If not, then why is the Virgin Mary disgraced as a virgin in order to be a mother? It's as if God deliberately gave his children the beautiful pleasures of sex only to tell them that it is sinful and unholy (for woman, mostly). Does anyone ask what the hell is wrong with this picture?

I guess most people don't want to take the red pill and wake up from the matrix!

Reality check: Today thousands of woman are subjected to torture because they too desire sex. Acid is poured on a woman if it were known that she had several partners. This is done so all men can reject a sexual woman. Women are beaten, stoned and of course murdered! If a woman has money she may be lucky to go to a gynecologist so she can have her hymen sewed back, so on her wedding night her husband can feel like a man as he conquers and owns the soul of the "untouched" woman.

Wow, how lucky! After years of fucking around, this treasured prince gets to mark his virgin territory. He comes to believe that he has saved his "virgin" wife because she waited thousands and thousands of endless nights for this one special, special man who will make all her dreams come true. (Oh by the way, too bad if the prince turns out to be a rat in disguise and shatters her dreams and hopes! But hey, remember you've got to make him feel like a man!)

I can no longer play into this game! I'm sorry I have played into this illusion this long, but it no longer serves my evolution. I want to bring a justice and wholeness to all the broken glasses in the world. I am here to tell the universe that I am every woman!

I am your prostitute, saint, bitch, nymph, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. I am also your whore, nun, slut and virgin!

I am not broken! I am whole in full glory and love!

Comment for The Iranian letters section
Comment to the writer
Sahar Imanabadi


Harf-e beepardeh
On the whole virginity thing
By dAyi Hamid

Me the virgin
In an Iranian girl's dictionary, there's no definition for "dating for fun"
By Linda Ghassemi

That torsheedeh feeling
Do I really need a spouse to feel complete?
By Azadeh

No refunds
I want an arranged marriage
By Assal Badrkhani

Not their fault
Women generally - not inevitably - bow to socio-economic pressures
By Laleh Khalili

Loving a farangi
He holds me up to the air and the winds and the sunshine
By Laleh Khalili

Real Iranian girls?
Looking for a bride? Go to Iran
By Cyrus L. Raafat


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