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Tuesday
May 22, 2001

Women are at a disadvantage

Dear Azadeh,

Since you asked the question, "What have you to offer me?", I think it's my moral responsibility to provide a reply. I'm just kidding. The truth is, you struck a chord, and I can't help writing back, at the risk of becoming the target of all sorts of slander from zealous Iranian "feminists" out there.

Anyway, I wish you had mentioned your age, because it makes a huge difference in how to address your question. You may well not be able to afford the luxury of waiting to meet the "right" person, Iranian or else, as it is quite well rooted in Iranian as well as Western (and in particular, American) cultures that when it comes to mating, women are at a disadvantage, no matter however much the feminists have tried to ignore the elephant in the room.

This has been the case, I'm afraid, throughout history and across geography. If you don't believe me, please go to a decent bookstore and see for yourself how many books aim at consoling the single 30+ women. (If you can't find any, tell me and I'll give you a list!)

In particular, I've seen a treatise by Schopenhauer "On Women" which is quite entertaining, very astute, and eye opening, not to mention that it reminded me of our good old patriarchal culture...

It's worth mentioning here, that the career woman vs. domestic woman dilemma still persists in all cultures: unlike men who the more successful they get in their vocation the more marriageable they become, the situation with women is totally different, if not outright opposite. From some point on, statistically speaking, more success in your career means less success in finding a worthwhile relationship.

Well, this is all my humblest opinion, but of course it is backed with abundant evidence. Did I answer your question yet? I don't think so.

Anyway, I have a little suggestion for you and all staunch feminists reading this: Why don't you fellows of fair sex start by reading "What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us", by Danielle Crittenden? It's an amazing read, and I'm sure you'll enjoy the challenge. You may even later thank me for pointing that out to you.

I welcome all REASONABLE criticism.

Ataollah Togha

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