Letters

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Tuesday
May 22, 2001

I'm different

This comment is for Cyrus Raafat on his story titled "Real Iranian girls?", first of all let me introduce myself. I'm a 19 year old Iranian/Persian (whatever you want to call it) girl, who has been living in Australia for 15 years along with my mum, dad and two sisters. Both my parents are Iranian, and we have travelled back to Iran many times.

I would like to tell Cyrus that yes to some extent I agree with the fact that Iranian girls in Iran, are more modest, and have more self-respect, but again one can not be judgmental, and think that all Iranian girls living in kharej have no self-respect or they are all non-virgins, as I don't live in America I don't know what the Iranian girls there are like, although I have heard some pretty interesting things. But as for myself and many of my friends here, we are Iranian, just because we are living in kharej does not mean we should loose our self-respect, because it is that self-respect that Iranian girls/women have for themselves that makes us so unique.

When we first came to Australia, we did not know many Iranians, and when I started school, there were no Iranians. So I ended up making friends with Australians, but from the very start I knew I did not fit well with this crowd. As you may know the Australians are famous for their beer drinking, beaches, and just having fun, not to say I don't like having fun, but not their kind of fun.

Yes I drank when I was young, but only because I wanted to fit in, although now I know I never did. (I never drink now and I'm a devote Muslim). At the end of high school we went back to Iran, and only when we returned did I feel a sense of belonging. I made friends with my girl cousins, and realized how much more different these girls are to the Australians back home, and also some Iranians. When we returned I was starting my first year in university, and there I met a whole bunch of Iranians, and Turks and Arabs, although most of the Iranians were Bahai ( the majority of iranians living here are Bahai), I am not though.

Ever since coming to university I have felt a sense of belonging, because all my friends have the respect and diginity that a girl should possess. Most of my friends are married. They're ages range from 19 to 26. I myself have never had a boyfriend and would never dream of being with anybody until I feel that I'm ready for a serious commitment. I mean i have guy friends , but they are just friends! Now im not saying that girls that have boyfriends are sluts, my own sister has one. I'm just saying that's my characteristic.

Cyrus jaan, I don't blame you for looking for a girl in Iran, especially after what people say about Iranian girls in America. But the one thing that gets to me about you Iranian guys is that you have your way with all types of girls, even Iranian, then you insult all of them, by saying things like you can only find a potential wife in iran!

And making comments like "maa dokhtare paake iraani mikhaahim" when you yourselves are going out and doing all this "kesaafat kaari" with the girls, and you expect to have an Iranian girl respect you! Over my dead body that I will marry a guy who has slept with a girl, or has had a girlfriend. If I didn't why should he? It's utter nonsense, because even in Iran there are the girls who have lost their morals , and self-respect. So please do not be judgmental towards Iranian girls in kharej. There are still some of us here, that are much better than some of the girls in Iran.

Atila Etemadi

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