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Friday
May 11, 2001

Be yourself

To thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the night the day, thou can'st not then be false to any man. -- Hamlet, Act i, Sc.3

God forbid that I should encourage my children to act 'American' or 'British' or 'Iranian' - I hope they will go out into the world, with a love for their mingled upbringing, a respect for the cultures they encounter and with this line from Montaigne in mind: 'Nature forms us for ourselves, not for others; to be, not to seem.'

Yariz Kangani's admonitions to 'embrace America' show a hungry longing to belong - a desire to be consumed by the 'greatest nation on earth' and leave behind the embarrassing cultural stereotypes of Iranians and their weakest foibles. It might surprise Kangani that there are naturalized Iranian citizens who come from the beloved West, we love our adopted country (and our own), and feel proud to raise our families with Iran's rich culture in mind.

It would no doubt be a further surprise that as we explore another culture (and educate about our own) that we are neither weak muscled, regarded as unattractive, or have time to be depressed as we blend families, festivals and faiths. Most of us are capable of recognizing the wonderful opportunities America extends to immigrants - but lets not leave our wits behind and bury our critical faculties along with our past.

America for many is not a land of opportunity, there are things that happen in America that Kangaloo would not like to experience. It is one thing to learn about a culture and have a deep appreciation for its attributes, it is quite another to forget heritage, culture, and family. Oddly enough, all the examples Kangaloo cites from Marshall to Elvis are men who lived true to themselves and the countries/ cultures they came from, it is hard to imagine Marshall or Schwarzkopf or, for that matter, Elvis forgetting for a minute that they were American (even while they were living abroad).

But I am playing the role of Devil's Advocate, because I do understand what Kangaloo wants for Iranians in the diaspora - learn, develop a place where you belong, create, excel and move outside stereotypes. To that message I would like to add - be yourself, whatever that is, be proud of where you came from, love your family and your heritage, don't be afraid to go back and explore - you might have missed something, (and it might have missed you).

I didn't read 'Embrace' until after I had read 'Into the Horizon' by Nima Behnoud and the stark contrast of these two features should give us pause for thought. One is about yielding values for the advancement of self, the other is about the yielding of self for the advancement of values. The great men that Kangaloo cites as examples of men who broke free of 'all stereotypes, traditions, beliefs' did nothing of the sort. The greatness of each of them was defined by the lengths they would go to defend what they believed, for Marshall it was America and democracy, for Elvis it was his type of music and the right to wiggle his hips.

So if you were going to ask me who is a great Iranian today I would say Masoud Behnoud, and with him each Iranian who knows where they come from, and in that far horizon seeks out a free and democratic Iran - in defending that vision they will never lose, because, to quote one more time from Montaigne, 'A wise man never loses anything, if he has himself.'

Minou

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