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Thursday * Distinction between modesty and prudishness Like so most contemporary commentators, Naghmeh Sohrabi seems to miss the point (wilfully, I suspect) when it comes to the issue of sexual "openness" in society ["Good old-fashioned sexuality"]. In particular they seem to refuse to observe the distinction between modesty and prudishness. The latter is indeed unreasoning, and may well embody a great deal of hypocrisy. Modesty, however, is all about our dignity as human beings (a subject of seemingly less relevance to, as we accept more fully that evolutionary theory which allots humans the same intrinsic dignity as dogs and pigs). A person who, because of modesty, does not wish to see people's intimate things turned into a public spectacle, feels that way because he/she realizes that sexuality is a matter touching the very soul of an individual, and that nothing is more fragile or will have such far-reaching effects upon that life. As a consequence, nothing will so affect our society for good or ill as our willingness or otherwise to handle this matter as the sacred thing it is. History (including Persia's) provides ample proof of this. The liberal writer is always thankful for the presence of prudish hypocrites, because with these he can construct a "conservative straw-man" against which he can complain, as Sohrabi does. Without hypocrites such writers would have no escape from having to deal with where their irresponsible attitudes are actually taking our society. * Keep it clean for all ages In response to the opinion piece "Good old-fashioned sexuality" by Naghmeh Sohrabi, I think this is what the other guy in his letter, "Who are we kidding", meant by shampoo hitting the fan. A couple of people wrote that the article "Bahram" seemed to be out of place and all of a sudden there is an opinion piece lecturing everyone about the history of sexual descriptions in the Iranian literary history, Victorian England, Iraj Mirza, Bibi Khanum Astarabady, etc. I think Ms. Sohrabi jumped the gun a little bit here (with a vengeance), and missed the point. Yes, we all talk, think, watch, read explicit material. We won't be human if we didn't, but do we do it everywhere? In any gathering? Do you tell an explicit joke in front of an 8-year-old, or an 80-year-old elder? There are a lot of old-fashioned people in the U.S, and other modern countries that I am sure would have the same type of reaction if they read a similar sort of story in a publication such as The Iranian where people of all ages visit every day. I think the point all the readers where making was this: This is site for Iranians of all ages. Keep it relatively clean, please. THAT'S ALL! >>> FULL TEXT * Forbidden zone It seems erotic writings by Iranian female writers and poets are still a forbidden zone ["Bahram"]-- as if religious modesty should only be practiced by Iranian women! And if it is not because of the influence of religion on society and customs in Iran, what other reason can explain the demand on women to bow to a masculine society? It is the female population of Iran that gives birth to these men and raises them to behave in such a manner as to require women to censor their feelings. Even Iranian feminist movements are not interested in feminism but masculinity in women's actions. If one or two generations of Iranian women raise their sons so that they were not so fixated on the virginity of their bride, then perhaps we would not talk so broadly about sharm va hayaa and would not forbid erotic writings by our women writers and poets. In societies where sex out of marriage is not forbidden and writers have the right to express their creativity, you can find people with hojb va hayaa who easily shy away from sex with people they are not married to or do not live with. By not speaking or writing about sex we cannot avoid it. No matter how we choose to respond and behave towards erotica, sex and sexuality, it has become the main attraction. Media and TV are a part of our daily routine. They insist on making profits by selling sex to their readers and viewers. Rather than attacking female writers we ought to limit ourselves. As free people, specially for those of us living in democratic societies, we have the right to choose what we read and a writer has the right to write and a publisher to publish! Since we are not interacting with a fuzzy logic, we might want to pause for a moment before we permit ourselves to even want to stop others. * Tolerance N. Sohrabis's comments about tolerance, open minds and out strong tradition of squeamishness are interesting ["Good old-fashioned sexuality"]. I think she has a point there. Ironically her angry language and the way she presents her opinion is yet another evidence for the fact that every one of us needs to practice more tolerance. We become intolerant even when defending tolerance! Having a mind only open to certain visitors will get us nowhere. My wish is living in a society with both free speech and free listening. * Just as foolish To be resistant to the novelty of the new world is as foolish and backwards as denigrating your own heritage in order to force yourself to belong ["Embrace"]. I sense that in your spirited attempt to belong, you are perhaps too hasty to shed all your skin, and you are ashamed of whatever your Iranian-ness represents. But just as Pepsi is not the apex of American culture and Nsync is not encapsulation of Western music, neither is chelo kabab the Iranian ethos, nor Baba Karam our history. How can the writer who in one breath proclaims that "it's so important for Iranians to break free of all stereotypes..." then equate Iranian tradition to chelo kabab, beshkan zadan, baba karam and so on? Take a deep breath; it's a long road ahead, and by throwing tantrums and equating our own tradition and culture to meat, rice, nose job and German cars, we all go nowhere very fast. Also, Freddie Mercury was not Iranian. We have all tried, at one time or another, our best to make him Iranian, but it didn't stick... :-) * Freddie was a... OK, Aghayoon va Khaanoomaa. Enough is enough. In the Yariz Kangani's "Embrace" I saw this statement of fact -"Freddie Mercury, who was descended from Iranians on both sides of his family, embraced England, not Iran, and became world famous as the lead singer of Queen" Then H. Fard told us that Freddie is in fact Indian not Iranian. I was brought up in England (I quite liked the band Queen) and heard all sorts of stories similar to the above. Other statements of fact went like this: Cindy Crawford/Salma Hyek being actually half Iranian, Khomeini being half-British, half-Indian, Reza Shah stealing peoples land for his own pleasure, the "man-o beboos" song being written by a communist army officer before his execution by the dreaded SAVAK, Iranian cholesterol level being naturally higher than Europeans. As exciting as all this information sounded, somewhere down the line it becomes clear, that unlike the people in our "host" countries, we seem to pick and adapt stories and gossip without anyone bothering to get to the bottom of a matter and actually searching for the truth. Then we argue and ghar mikoneem not based on fundamental ideological differences, not even differences in how to implement idea's/policies, but wrong information! So here is a first.. I am going to reveal, for the first time in Iranian (dot com) history the facts about Freddie Mercury's nationality. I actually researched this on my trip to Tanzania. Freddie's actual first name was Farouk. His family name is at the tip of my tongue but I just can't remember it today for some reason. His family was not Iranian but in fact from the island of Zanzibar. Their religion was Zoroastrian, so it is technically possible that somewhere down the line their ancestors could have either gone directly from Iran to Zanzibar, via India. His father was an accountant in Zanzibar, and left the country due to political troubles there first to India, and then to England. And yes, he was kooni and died of Aidze shomaa mobarak. And in the song Bohemian Rhapsody when he said "mama mia B'esmellah let me go" he was referring to... shall I guess that one :-) * Pathetic (i.e., trash) I love iranian.com. I wake up to it in the morning. It helps me cope when I am feeling homesick. It teaches me about my culture and reinforces things I already know about. I read it because I want to get in tune with my country, its history, its culture, its people -- in Iran or outside of it. I was hoping the day would never come, but it did. "Embrace" was the most pathetic piece of writing (i.e. trash) that I have read here so far. The author asks us to embrace American culture but he/she really means surrender to it. The stereotypes that Y.K. uses about Iranian culture remind me of a cousin of mine when he was 16 and going through his teenage years in the U.S., feeling that American culture was superior to ours because "all we do is put each other down and try to get rich off of each other." My cousin is now married to an Iranian woman and speaks only Farsi to me. I am glad he has found his culture; I just hope Y.K. will. PAAYANDEH BAAD KHAAKHEH IRAANEH MAA. * Middle of the road I wanted to thank Yariz for putting her finger on the right spot ["Embrace"]. I'm an Iranian parent. I have lived in Ireland for the past 20 years . I know a handfull of other Iranians. I only meet them every Noruz, so I've never really had the opportunity to speak Farsi for the past 20 years. I brought my children up to speak Farsi and that's about it. I left Iran very young and I hardly knew anything about culture, history or art. I havn't even seen any part of Iran, so I couldn't teach them anythinge. Me and my children know everything about Ireland thoug. We even speak with a local accent, yet my children are every inch Iranian (looks, manners, sense of humour, NEJAABAT). They were born in this country and they behave the same as any other kid in this country although the Western society makes them feel different specially in this small place. But it angered me when an Iranian family moved to our street a few years ago straight from Iran. They were okay for the first year as they needed my help and guidance. After two years they changed dramatically. The parents constantly criticised Iran and Iranian people, yet they kept bringing money out of Iran. Their children were all over 18 and pretended they couldn't speak Farsi anymore, basically they made a fool of themselves in front of neighbours. Eventually they left without even saying goodbye. I really enjoyed reading your article and I know some Iranian families are a pain in the neck, e.g. my own they constantly are bugging ("Why don't you teach your children to write in Farsi?" "Why don't you bring them to Iran?" "Why don't you play them Iranian music?" etc, etc...). What the hell for? Me and my children are happy as we are. We are proud of being Iranian but we don't shove it down other people's throats. We don't deny it either like my ex-neighbours. Middle of the road. * So childish I am an Iranian-American parent with two children who have been born and raised in United States. An ordinary middle class family that is raisnig the children to the best of my ability. I try to teach them to be proud of their heritage, while enjoying all that America has to offer. Kangani's essay [""Embrace""] has some positive points. However her charactrization of Iranian culture as "Baba Karam? Snapping fingers and making loud noises? Fat guys with thick mustaches,Old women with nose jobs? Over-priced Chanel handbags? ..." is so childish , and shows her lack of knowledge about Iranian culture and her obvious dislike for Iranian culture. Utilizing her own logic, we have examples of Bijan, Amanpour, Amir, and thousands of other Iranians who have impacted the cultures of their host environment. Iranian culture is so much deeper than being summarized in couple of insulting attributes. * Well done, Satan All our problems arise from this fact that we don't have faith. the people who sin and insist in committing them are the ones who will make a lot of noise when they see someone say something that threatens the continuity of their evil deeds. In the Bible we come across this phrase"cast not pearls before swine" but in the Holy Koran we see this phrase"give admonition in case the admonition profits the hearer". I know that no matter what I say, it won't make sense to Evil ones but I hope it will make sense to some who Fear their Lord. The truth will be known to you when that soon-to-be-decomposed body of yours will taste death and you will know the result of your evil deeds. So argue no more, just wait and see for yourself. I am not scared of gays or lesbians. I fear no one but God. I just feel disgusted whenever I see one of them. Looking at their hands, mouths and everything else, knowing that what they do with them makes me puke. We are never born anything. We simply become the things we are exposed to. The kind of family we have, education, friends... decide what we become. Even two identical twins who are raised in the same family are not alike because of a lot of factors >>> FULL TEXT
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