Letters

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Friday
October 5, 2001

I don't buy insanity

In reply to Leonard Peikoff's "Petikoff's article":

Dear Lenny,

I read your recent musings on a solution to the problems you perceived and I must say I agreed with a lot of what you said until you conveniently left out a few important factors like History and Truth. I am not trying to change your mind, (golly, why would I?) it's clearly hopeless. I don't have an answer. I am trying like everyone to figure out how this could have happened. What could possibly have led to this and why would someone get so angry to do this. I don't buy the religious fundamentalism excuse. I don't buy insanity. I believe it's more about politics and desparation at being kept down. It's manipulation by a few bad people trying to cover it up with something smelly so we won't find out the truth.

I would however, like to help you tighten up your argument by adding in the bits you left off, either because you didn't have enough money to buy more space (Lord knows no one would publish it freely) in the NYT or, you just don't have all the facts straight and your justifiably high emotional level at this time, caused your lapse in judgment. Of course I'm just being polite. Think of it as being "Objective" like you are supposedly expert at.

First, The matter of our oil. The historical record shows that the person behind Iran's 1950's nationalization of oil decree was in fact that country's best recent hope for a democracy just like we apparently have. Mohammad Mossadegh was one of the most intellectual and free thinkers of Iran's recent history and had in place the machinations of moving Iran from a dictatorship to a freely elected form of representative government. Isn't that funny? I am sure you must have left that fact out accidentally. But no problem, let me help you pick it up and put it right back up there for you and everyone else to consider.

After this move, the US government decided that the declaration of the nationalization of Oil and this impetuous little politician, to actually dare and bring democracy to Iran was more leftist rather than possibly true, and we proceeded to undermine and overthrow his movement. Always the shrewd bargainhunters, the CIA was able to accomplish this quite reasonably ($120,000 I believe) and quickly by bribing several hundred street thugs (yes, 1950 era Iran was more similar to the US than one would have expected! People at that time even wore western suits and fedoras, just like any US metropolis of the time!). This was carried out on the ground by a young attach named, and hold onto your glasses for this one Len, Schwarzkopf.

To make a long story short, we ousted Mossadegh, blackballed him as a commie, and placed a random Shah (Pahlavi) tidily in place. Next we enrolled the young King, like proud parents in our rapidly growing 3rd World Dictator 101 training courses like; "How to keep your people down and keep them there!" as well as the ever popular (especially with our new military "friends" in South America) "How To Set Up Your Own Secret Police: For Fun and Profit!"

This period of "stability" lasted for 30 wonderful years. We grew and prospered like never before, through the 50's, 60's and 70's. Disneyland became Disneyworld. We were so happy and fat that we a were even able to fight a completely pointless war in Viet Nam just for the fun of it! In 1979 were so full of Caviar that we grew tired of the boring arrogance of Pahlavi and when Khomeini came along and Pahlavi ran away like a child hearing thunder, we barely yawned at it's significance. When he came to us with cancer, we turned him away. Well, he was a prick after all! Yes he had served us faithfully for 30 years, but jeez what an arrogant asshole! Now I'll venture as good a guess as anyone's, as to what happened next.

We all now know of our inconsistent support and consequent betrayal of the Mujaheddin in Afghanistan during the Soviet Union's attempt at securing a warm water port. We have heard by people better than you of the proof that we in fact created and trained the monster Laden (I'm not even going to pronounce his full name) for our own convenience. There is an apropos Iranian saying, "It's a big mistake to wound the snake then throw it at the far end of the garden, and forget about it."

Suffice it to say, things have gone sour in all directions now and I'm not even going to get into the similarity of our precarious position and what happened in Iran to our current relationships with the fat, smiling, yet brutal and corrupt "friends" and "partners" in Saudi, Kuwait and the other Arab states we count on our side.

Now here's where I agree with you. Surprised? I agree we must remove all of the countries that support and sponsor this kind of madness. By country of course, I mean their governments. As you can see the people have been effectively kept powerless, largely by the quality of our dictator training college grads. Now let's list them for all to see; First the most obvious and you've got a nice list going so we'll start there;

Iraq (pronounced eee-rock, as in Rock Hudson): Saddam is still active and he really sucks, so off with his head. Afghanistan (pronounced Afff-ghaw-neh-stawn, as in Spawn) Iran (Pronounced eee-rawn, as in Ron Howard): You've got most of it right except for the killing all the peope part.

Pakistan (pronounced paw-keh-stawn, as in Spawn): Taliban = Pakistan, Bad move Paks. Sorry, yer out! Libya (forgot about him didn't you?) Now let's keep adding because it doesn't stop there baby;

Next you've got to clean up; Syria: Oh yeah! We forgot about that didn't we! Egypt: Yes, they have an enthusiastic and motivated secret police and the hospitality of their accommodations doesn't stop at their Hotels, if you catch my drift. Lebanon: Hamas (Hummus), anyone? Turkey (Can't have a proper meal without Turkey) Greece (Can't have Turkey without a little Greece) Israel (Ah Israel! The slave who became the slave master. How lovely!)

Ok, let's keep moving West Len o'l buddy. After all aren't we on a mission? Mission's take energy so have an "power" bar, we've got a long way to go; Switzerland: Ah the land of Milk Chocolate and accurate timing! So accurate in fact, that Switzerland betrayed it's own PR of selective neutrality by simultaneously selling weapons to Iran and Iraq during the Iran-Iraq war! Nice neutralism Friedrich! You already know of the drug dealer banking favors, the betrayal of death camp Jewish acccount holders, and the preference given to the Nazis. Wouldn't that constitute sponsoring terrorism Len? Probably, you're right, we'd better nuke them too.

Germany: Our largest trading partner! How proud we must be that even though we imposed a trade and technology ban with Iran for their terrorism sponsoring, Germany can proceed to pay for their East German unification by selling everything under the sun to Iran. Explain to me how that works again Len? We want to punish Iran by depriving them of our technical and business savvy, but it's Ok for Germany to go right on in and teach them everything about anything. (And I mean anything, Lenny baby!) By the way how do you think GM and Coca Cola are still allowed to operate in Iran?

Uh Len, help me out here cuz I'm a little fuzzy on this one, but, doesn't technical help constitute sponsoring terrorism? It does? "Cool! Say miss, can we order 2 more of your bitchin' nukes to go please!" Personally I can't take too much of Europe, it's so rich with brutal culture and history like the Inquisition, so let's move on. Feel like Africa? No? Don't blame you, unfortunately no one cares about Africa, and while ignoring the genocide in Burundi and such may be a crime in itself, I don't want to bore you. Let's move on. Places to see, people to nuke. How about South America? Think there are any countries that deserve our punishment there? Come on there's always Colombia, Peru and... What? They bore you too? Maybe it's because they have browner skin than you'd like?

Ok fine, we'll move on. Has anyone ever told you what a nag you are to travel with? What? Ayn used to? Oh, sorry. Let's go to the wonderful and mysterious Far East shall we? China: TheyÕre not just useful for sports clothing slave labor you know; they have incredible potential as brutal punishers of any form of free thought! IsnÕt there the slightest China, North Korea, Iraq, and Iran ballistic missile connection? Hmm, I don't know for sure, but hey what's another nuke here and there? Indonesia: Yes? No? What'll it be Len? Yes you say? Yes it is! Nuke 'em! Almost there Len, hang on, we're crossing over Hawaii now. Oops! Better not mention our occupation and dismantling of the ancient Hawaiian culture, otherwise we'll have to address the whole American Indian thing, and well, we don't want to go there right now do we? Back home! Ah yes the good old US of A! There's just this one little detail and we're almost done (or should I say undone?).

Here's a riddle. What would you call it, if a religiously based ethnic group in one country supported a pseudo independence movement in anotehr country far away that uses terror and civilian targets to achieve it's goals? Does this sound vaguely familiar? Laden you say? Actually we are talking about rich Roman Catholics in the US who have historically sent money and arms to the IRA from the very beginning, who in turn systematically carried out a campaign of terror in Ireland and the UK for almost 100 years! Got any nukes left Len? Just one you say? Great! Bend over, open wide and say AAAAaaaaaa!

Ayn, honey, what were you thinking?

Peace,

Shirzad Mahmoudi

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